Me: Alright, here we go. By the way, do you have money? Cause I sure as hell don't.
Alice: Are you serious?! How were you even expecting to get anything done without money?!
Me: I dunno. Improvise?
Alice: Idiot. Just see how much it costs.
I did.
Me: Holy Fuck! 2400000 per person! These people are fucking insane!
Alice: What! If I knew this was going to happen, I would have let Granberia take over.
Me: Does that mean we're destroying this place?
Alice: I said takeover, not destroy.
Me: Kidding, kidding. Just a joke.
Alice: You're not as funny as you think.
Me: Eh.
Soldier A: Excuse me, can you step aside?
Me: Uh...ok.
Soldier A: Hey, owner. I'm a hero.
Me: Cough...bullshit...cough...
He looked around to find who said that but must've been too stupid to figure out it was me.
Soldier A: Anyways as I was saying, give me the hero rate to stay here.
Owner: What stupidity is that!?! What kind of a hero gets knocked out instantly by a monster like that!?
Soldier A: But...but I've been baptized as a hero!
Owner: Someone like you calling himself a hero, get out!
He left the inn screaming like a little bitch. The owner turned to us.
Owner: Oh, you two! The ones who saved the city! Please, won't you stay here tonight?
Me: I don't have any money. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to pay over 4 million gold for the two of us.
Alice: Damn right!
Owner: I'll give you the special hero rate, two gold per person. I'll bill the other 4799996 gold to the Illias Temple.
Me: But we're not with them. And even though I technically saved the city, I fought her for fun. I'm not a hero.
Owner: That doesn't matter. Your actions are what define you, and even though you may not see yourself as one, you are a hero. And besides, the temple has more than enough to pay for it, they'll just think some of their excuses for heroes are the ones who slept here.
Alice: HA! That's great! Charging Illias Temple for monsters to stay.
Me: Hehe, yeah that's pretty funny.
Owner: Come in! Come in! This city isn't anti monster like some other places are. It's completely fine!
Me: Thanks!
Alice: Looks like your recklessness is useful for something.
Me: Hey! I wanted a fight, and I got one! I already knew she was one of the 4 Heavenly Knights, so I knew what I was getting into.
Alice: It was still stupid. Even more so since you knew who she was.
Me: Let's just go to our room.
We did just that and ordered some Ama Ama Dango.
Me: Nice. You have good tastes.
Alice: I know, it's so sweet!
After the meal.
Alice: Fuuu...that was delicious.
Alice called in the waiter to take the dishes. VIP treatment was nice.
Owner: How do you two like this hotels Ama Ama Dango?
Alice: Even though it's incredibly sweet, it doesn't overpower the flavor of the Dango. Absolutely delicious. If you were a monster, I'd make you a duchess.
Owner: Hahaha! Thank you miss. And what did you think, sir?
Me: She's right, you managed to make to get it just right so it doesn't co.e off as too sweet. You definitely have an amazing skill.
Owner: Thank you!
Me: Just being honest.
Owner: Oh, I just remembered something. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to get enough Happiness Honey. So I can't make any more Ama Ama Dango. Since Happiness Village doesn't have enough men anymore, I guess there's no helping it.
Me: Wha happened?
Owner: Yeah...Hm...hey, thats right. If it's you two, you might be able to do something. If you were able to beat that swordsman, it should be easy for you.
Me: Wellllll...I am looking for adventure, and more honey means more Ama Ama Dango. Plus honey sounds like a sure way to encounter some Bee Monster Girls. I wouldn't mind trying to fight a swarm, or even the Queen Bee. Screw it, I'm in!
Owner: Thank you! Have a nice rest, you'll need it if you really plan on doing all that.
Alice: I'm hungry again.
Me: Oh boy, here we go.
Alice: You already know what I mean, don't you?
Me: Yeah, and I'm not sure how to feel. Mostly cause this is...kinda...my first real...experience...if you know what I mean.
Alice: I see. Normally I'd find a human. But I am curious to see what a male monsters semen tastes like.
Me: Fine...just...don't go too extreme...please? Just get what you need for the night, ok?
(Little Bit Of Sexual Content Ahead)
Alice: Very well. As a lamia, I'm already aware of snake biology. Including non monster snakes, so come on, let them out.
Me: Uuhhhhh....fine.
I did what she said and things happened. Even though she was just using her hands I quickly found out that I had extremely low endurance.
Alice: That was quick. This really is your first time doing anything sexual.
She kept going and started using her mouth. At that point I kinda blacked out a little, but not before I heard Alice scream.
(End)
When I woke up I saw Alice covered in burns.
Me: What happened?
She looked pissed.
Alice: Turns out that when you get too excited, you lose control and start secreting acid from your entire body. Your semen is also acidic.
Me: Oh, uh...well I did say it was my first time. So it's not like I could given you any warning.
Alice: (sighs) I suppose so. Let's just go. I'll heal quickly.
As we were leaving, we ran into the owner.
Owner: It sounded like you had fun last night. You two were very loud.
Me: Hehe...sort of. It was better for me than it was for her. It was my first time and let's just say she learned the hard way that I can easily lose control of my acid. And also that my semen is acidic.
Owner: That explains the injuries, I just assumed you did it rougher than humans do.
Alice: No, I would've preferred not to be burned. I'm not into that.
Owner: I have some medical supplies if you want-
Alice: No. I'll heal on my own.
Me: Well thanks for letting us stay.
She smiled and bid us goodbye. We went into the city.
(A/N: I was originally gonna name this chapter Alice Finds Out Why You Shouldn't Fuck Scales, but I thought that was too long, plus it only applies to the one scene)
