Once Again

Chapter 3: Present Day

It's been a few weeks since I responded to Rhys's message and over a week since he texted me setting up a meeting time for our coffee date. Coffee meetup. I eye the black dress I'm wearing critically. I wasn't much of a dress wearer when Rhys and I were together and despite the fact that I am now I don't want him to think I dressed up for him.

"What outfit says I hope you regret every decision you've made and I barely even thought about this?" I turn asking Rachel who is busy flipping through a Glamour magazine. She peeks up from it.

"Go with the jeans and black top. The top is sexy but in like a I'm not trying to be sexy I just am way." She nods at the black bodysuit laying on my bed.

"Am I wanting to be sexy?" I ask my voice a pitch too high.

"I'm going to say something that might blow your mind, Sarah, but you are naturally sexy. Let him be reminded of that." She says casually.

I gape at her for a minute. The only time someone has referred to me as sexy are men who are in the middle of having sex with me.

"I told  you to not be so surprised. You're a cool girl. You know it, your friends know it, and he knows it." She shakes her head tossing the magazine aside.

I frown "You've seen the girls he's been with—"

"Yeah, they're beautiful. They're beautiful in an objective way that anyone can agree on. You have an essence though. No makeup or clothes can mimic essence." She looks at me pointedly.

"Well you just gave me a confidence boost I didn't know I needed." I smile at her fondly.

"I do my best." She shrugs.

"Why couldn't I have been a lesbian?" I groan.

"We would have never worked. You don't like my bossiness." She says flipping back through the magazine.

"No, I love your bossiness as a friend, but you're right I'd hate it as a partner." I laugh smoothing the bodysuit that I put back on. "It's like I'm 14 again with this" I gesture at my outfit.

"If only we'd saved our old Doc Marten's. They sell for like $300 now." She laments. "Also, retro is in. Hence why Rhys is back in the picture."

I toss a pillow at her head and she laughs. Her laughter eventually falls into a somber face.

"Remember, you are a grown woman now with a lifetime of experiences. You've matured and don't need him, ok?"

"Yes" I nod "Rhys and I are essentially strangers at this point. No matter how familiar things may feel, we're different—I'm a different person than the girl he once knew."

And with that I say goodbye to my friend and drive to the cafe Rhys and I agreed to meet at. I park and take a deep breath before going in. Coffee was a bad idea. My nerves are shot, so the last thing I need is caffeine. I scan the cozy hip cafe and lose my breath when I see that familiar crooked smile.

He stands up from the table and makes his way to me. Why do some men just get more handsome with age? I was hoping he'd have gained some weight, be balding, miss teeth, something. Something that would dampen the attraction I've tried to shove away. He's tall, his shoulders broad, and though he's not as chiseled as he was when we were younger he's still fit. He's wearing a gray heathered henley, beanie, and dark jeans which makes him look younger than he is. His boyish smile also gives him an impish quality that belies his age. The laugh lines that etch his eyes and forehead are the only giveaways that he's not in his 20s anymore. A neatly trimmed beard adorns his once clean-cut face. He embraces me in a tight quick hug that pushes my face awkwardly into his chest. He smells like expensive cologne which wasn't a thing he used to wear before.

He's still beautiful and my heart betrays all my earlier resolve by speeding up. I hate how he still has this effect on me. I take another deep breath trying to steel myself against the emotions that threaten to wash over me.