Once Again

Chapter 18: April 1999

"Hey!" I greet, plugging one ear so I can hear better.
"Hi." Rhys's voice greets me back "Where are you?"
"I'm in my dorm, silly. You called me on my line." I tease.
"Oh, duh...Sorry." He sighs "I'm just tired."
I frown. I know between classes and soccer Rhys is constantly busy and it hasn't given him much time for anything else. I worry about him being lonely though I know he says he's befriended his roommate. Meanwhile, I'm breaking out of my shell, making friends, and finding my groove in college. I'm happy and the self-confidence I seemed to lack in middle school and high school seems to be growing.
"You ok? Need me to come kiss it better?" I tease though if he asked me to I would.
"Are you...drunk?"
"Well I'm not sober. It's Friday night, baby. Why aren't you doing something?"
"I have to study. I haven't had time with practice and classes. We have a game tomorrow so this is the only opportunity I have to study." He grumbles.
Rhys is an intelligent guy. So intelligent he really didn't have to put much effort into middle or high school. He could pass with flying colors and barely crack a book. I, on the other hand, took longer than everyone else to study and grasp concepts thanks to an undiagnosed attention deficit disorder. Rhys is finding that he can't coast through college though and actually has to study. Not only does he not seem to have the time to study, he doesn't seem to know how to do it either.
The contrast between our experiences in college sometimes makes me feel guilty. Whereas Rhys once burned bright he's starting to dim and where I was once invisible now a light shines.
"Sarah, look at this!" A voice calls me over to my computer where a couple of other people are gathered around giggling at something.
"Who is that?" Rhys asks, his voice sounding a little jealous though he's trying to hide it.
"That's Matt, remember? The guy I did the project with in social psychology." I ramble grinning at the auburn curly haired guy hunched over my desk.
"Yeah, sure." He grumbles "You're obviously busy so I'm going to let you go."
"Looove you." I croon.
"Love you too." He says and we hang up.

We continue to have conversations like that when we do actually get each other on the line and not our voicemails.
I developed a bit of a drinking problem during my college years. I found that when I had a couple of drinks I loosened up, stopped overthinking, and people liked me more. That's not true. Most people like me just fine once I get comfortable with them, but not everyone has the patience to wait and I find that alcohol helps provide a shortcut. It's like a new found power. I take my studies seriously, but there's not a party I won't go to if invited. I don't see how it's causing problems. I don't see it's making me careless and short-tempered at times.
Rhys isn't going out like he did in high school. His party days seem to be over. He makes comments about my partying and I take it at him being insecure and jealous. He's not just envious, he's concerned. He can see my personality changing and whereas I think it's positive he does not. I think once he's back home for the summer things will be better. He'll be happy to be home where he doesn't have to worry about all his responsibilities and he can be with his friends again. I was wrong.