Once Again

Chapter 16: September 1998

   We've started school. Rhys has been gone for a couple of months. We didn't talk about where we stood after the night before he left. We spent what time we could together and made tentative plans for me to visit during Fall break. I can't wait though and take off a weekend to come sooner. It's not a terrible drive, but it is a trekk for just a couple of days. I'll be staying in Rhys's dorm.
I'm excited about school. I'm enjoying classes so far though a lot of them seem to be mostly generalized classes like the ones I took in high school. I can't wait until I can get into more of the creative writing classes, U of G is known for their writing center.
Rhys has been busy practicing and playing on the Vanderbilt soccer team while attending classes. We play phone tag a lot. This is before cell phones were as good and readily available as they are now so there's a lot of back and forth on answering machines. Every time I hear his deep timber pop on my answering machine I'm giddy and excited. I once asked my dad how he knew he was in love and he said "just the sound of their voice makes you happy." I don't know if that's true but it's romantic.
I spend a lot of time—have spent a lot of time fantasizing about a relationship with Rhys and now that it's happening my imagination is running wild. If I could go back in time I would try to tell that girl that fantasies don't make a relationship, but that's not a lesson she'll learn for quite some time.
"Bauer." Rhys grins at me, wrapping me in a tight hug, smooshing my face into his chest. "Come on. We have to go up the backstairs." He puts a finger on his lips and motions his head to a back hallway.
I'm being snuck into his dorm room. He's not allowed to have overnight guests so we have to be stealthy. His roommate Luke is staying at a friend's so we can have some privacy.
It's an unremarkable room with cinder block walls and two beds on platforms. It's clean though and I know that's all Rhys. He's always been a clean person. A small glade candle burns on a desk, I know that's for me. He knows I have a sensitive sense of smell and can't stand being anywhere that stinks.
He shows me around and points out the bathroom across the hall that girls can use. He shows me his computer. He has something called Napster we can download and play any song we could possibly want from. I'm in awe and we must spend an hour looking up random songs and playing them for each other. Our sides are in stitches over some weird Sesame Street one where all the characters sound high.
"I want to walk around your campus and get some dinner." I say standing up after a while, excited to see more of the world he now lives in.
"We will." He smiles. He hooks his fingers in my belt loops pulling me towards him. "I want dessert first."
He looks up at me from his chair and starts to undo my jean buttons. He pushes them down my hips a bit and bites his lip when he sees my hot pink underwear. "I want to taste you, Sarah."
His breath blows hot through my panties, my pussy throbs. He places a hot kiss on me through my panties and my knees buckle a little. He continues breathing his hot breath and wet kisses over me as he pulls my panties down. When he looks up at me his eyes are so lustful and hungry my heart skips a beat.
No one has ever gone down on me and Rachel had to explain to me the mechanisms of it years ago when I didn't understand why everyone kept joking about "69". She says despite how much people talk about it, not too many are actually good at it. I hold my breath worried that this won't be good either even though I'm already throbbing.
I watch as he pulls my thigh over his shoulder. He has high hopes for my ability to be flexible and for us to not go tumbling to the ground in this chair. He doesn't seem to be worried at all. He's licking and sucking me hungrily now, moving his lips and tongue on me like I'm his favorite ice cream. It feels amazing. I worry about how I taste and smell, but he's making small noises like he's enjoying it.
My knees buckle and he scoops his arms under my ass holding me up. He kneads my cheeks and continues to pleasure me like he has all the time in the world. I'm amazed at his skill. My mind wanders to how often he's done this to be so good at it...An ugly thought. One that takes me out of the moment for a minute.
"You taste so good, baby." He murmurs the vibration of his voice causing a warm tingle to start to spread through my body. My head lolls and I grasp his hair. He sees I'm close to the edge. He pushes a couple of fingers in me and latches onto my clit speeding up the pace and pressure.
"Oh! Oh God—" a moan erupts from me as the orgasm rocks my body. My legs shake, but his strength keeps me up. My whole body feels like a volcano with heat erupting from my toes to my head. Ib think this is what people mean when they talk about astral projection. I don't feel like I'm on this earth right now.
"So fucking hot." I hear him saying. I hear the faint sounds of a zipper and pants coming off. I look down to see he's taken off his pants, his erection stands hard and proud in his lap. He's pumping it slowly and looking up at me, his face full of desire and awe.
  "I want you so bad right now, Sarah. Do you want to sit on me?" He rasps, rubbing his hands up and down my sides trying to calm me.
I manage to nod my head. He reaches towards a desk drawer. I stop him, putting my hand on his arm.
"I started birth control a couple of months ago." I say "My mom insisted when she...when she found out."
"Oh my God." He moans wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me down onto his lap. "You're going to feel so good. It's a good thing you went first because I'm not going to last long."
I giggle and let him ease me onto him slowly. It still pinches a little, but doesn't take as long to get comfortable and adjusted as it did the first time. He's wrong though. He lasts longer than he thought he would. He guides my hips helping me find rhythm, sitting in a chair helps make my first time doing this easier.
He's biting his lip and his face is full of tension. I put a hand on his jaw. "What do I do, Rhys? What do you need?"
Those wild eyes clear a bit. "I'm so...I want to fuck you so hard right now? Can I?"
I bite my lip in hesitation. I'm both turned in and unsure right now.
"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm going to make us both feel good. Do you trust me?" He asks, his almonds eyes searching my face.
I nod. He smiles and gives me another tender kiss before stilling my hips to signal that he's taking over. He wraps his arms under and then over my shoulders locking me into place. He thrusts into me hard and fast. A sweat breaking across his body. His balls are making slapping sounds as they hit me, his pelvis angled to where it's hitting me in just the right spot. The sensations are overwhelming and I feel the beginning of another orgasm.
"Oh fuck!" I cry out. I feel him stutter in concern. "Don't stop, don't stop. I'm going to—"
A yell rips through me and there's no doubt the rooms next to him didn't hear me. He places a gentle hand over my mouth and I let it muffle my cries. He buries his head in my chest muffling his own cries. My orgasm is almost violent. I feel like I lose sight for a second. I see white. I tremble and grasp at him seeking stability. He's wrapped his arms around me and is kissing my chest and neck gently in between puffs of breath.
"What was that?" I ask as I come down from the euphoric high.
He laughs and buries his face in my neck. "That was like 5 years of sexual frustration built up."
I shake my head in post-coital confusion "Ah, I'm flattered, but you've had plenty of outlets—"
He puts a finger on my mouth "Shhh. Stop. This—" he flexes his hips and I whimper "is yours. This is about me wanting you. Got it?"
I nod holding his serious gaze until I scoot off of him.
We never end up exploring the campus or going out to eat. We order-in and spend the rest of the weekend having sex, watching movies, and hanging out. It's really hard to leave him when Sunday arrives. I don't let him see my tears. I save those for the ride home. He stands in the parking lot, his face as forlorn but forcefully cheerful as mine, and watches my car until we can no longer see each other. This is when I let myself cry.