Love Songs

Chapter Eighteen

Shay - Tuesday, 9:30am.

"Good," I said halfheartedly, staring out the window. "Play a C."

The kid played a shitty chord, but I didn't bother correcting it. My mind was somewhere else.

"F," I instructed. He obliged.

Obviously waiting for me to say what to do, the kid sat there, but I didn't say anything. I wonder what Jessica's doing right now, I was thinking. I wonder if she's dancing. I wonder what it looks like. I wonder if she's happy. I wonder if she's having fun.

"Press down harder," I said, snapping out of it. "Press your fingers down harder. More pressure."

"It hurts my fingers," he said.

"It should. That means you're doing it right. Play it again."

God, I wondered, Why am I here? Why should I be sitting here listening to a ten-year-old complain about how much 'it hurts?' I should be with Jessica. Jessica never complains if it hurts...

Then, I had to once again tell myself to stop. It is not healthy to be thinking about a girl this much. It was a problem I'd never had. The whole grab-and-go lifestyle never gave me that problem. I rarely thought about a girl after the night we spent together.

Shay Thaller doesn't get feelings, I had to remind myself. Don't get too attached.

"Play it again," I ordered firmly, taking out my frustration on him. He did, playing loudly to match my tone.

"A minor," I said, a little more calmly. "G...Back to C."

He finished, looking mad at me for raising my voice.

"Good," I exhaled, somehow feeling a little bit of remorse. Which was strange. Did I ever feel remorse? 

"Take a break," I suggested, then got mad at myself for getting so lenient. To remind me that I was still the same person, I added, "Go rest your fingers."

He rolled his eyes at me before standing up and dismissing himself. Kids.

Walking away from him, I decided to give attention to another kid working on their music. There was a girl on her piano in the corner, struggling to hammer out a simple melody. I decided my effort was best placed there.

She was blonde and petite, with eyes that could have burned a hole through a wall. Like Jessica, I almost thought, but didn't allow it.

"Need help?" I offered, strangely compassionately. I was never a kid person, but I was surprising myself by being nice.

"I can't get it right," she said, sounding frustrated. 

"Play it for me," I offered. It actually wasn't that bad, when I focused in on her without the other noise in the room. 

"That sounds good," I encouraged.

"It's not right," she said. She was one of those kids that had to be perfect, I was sure. Like someone I knew.

"Here," I said, placing my right hand where hers had been. "On this last part, you're hitting the B when you should be on the B flat," I told her. "Watch your accidentals," I reminded her, taking a pencil off of the piano and circling a symbol in the key signature. "That's what you're missing."

"Wow," she said, now smiling. "Thanks, Shay."

It was weird to see someone be appreciative of me, outside the realm of sexual favors.