Love Songs

Chapter Twelve

Jessica - Saturday, 4:30pm.

Was I the only one who could feel the awkward?

That morning, it began to rain, and rain incessantly. It had rained like this a couple times throughout the week, but nobody had really noticed because we'd been in classes the entire time. But now it was our day off. We had nowhere to go. The beach was off limits. Shay didn't feel like driving in the downpour, and there was nothing to do in it anyway. So while most people opted for their respective rooms, Allie, Darius, Matthew, Shay and I were sitting in the common room, not saying much of anything.

Matthew couldn't stop staring at Allie, who still seemed not to notice. But of course, we all noticed. So there was awkward between the rest of us and Matthew, and the awkward between Matthew and Allie. Then there was the long-standing awkward between Allie and Darius. Then the newfound awkward of an unrequited love that existed between Darius and Shay. And now, there was awkward between Shay and me as we both kept shifting our eyes to one another, and then to Allie, and back to each other.

So, overall, it was a day full of awkward. Conversation was more scarce than it usually was. In long silences, all that could be heard was me scratching the red spots on my stomach. Every time I looked at Allie, I swear I got a new one. They were spreading. They were growing. They were worsening.

Shay didn't seem to feel as uncomfortable as I did. True, there were the occasional looks, but half of them were suggestive. She looked amused and seductive at the same time. She kept cocking eyebrows at me. I think she could tell how nervous I was, and she was making it her business to make me more nervous. I was pretty sure that making me nervous was one of her new hobbies, falling in line right after making me angry.

I think she was getting bored with the silence, so she took it as her cue to start stirring things up. She looked from Matthew to Allie, and I saw that devious look come across her face before she said, pseudo-innocently, "Allie, I think you need a boyfriend."

I almost laughed but held it in. I knew exactly what she was doing, and the way Matthew's expression changed was priceless.

Allie, continued to look at her phone, apathetic and only half-present in her sister's conversation. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know," Shay mused, playing with the conversation. "You're young, you're single, you're disease-free..." she continued. "You seem like an eligible candidate."

"I don't like anyone," Allie pressed, and Matthew looked crushed as if he were surprised. At this point, Shay's little game was getting kind of sad. I hoped she would leave him alone.

"But maybe you would, if you gave them a chance," Shay continued. "I mean, you have to try new things, right?"

"New things?" Allie repeated.

"Yeah," she said. "Jessica and I were just talking about that, weren't we, Jess?"

I almost stopped breathing. She'd turned her game on me. That bitch.

"Talking about what?" I asked, casually, as if I hadn't heard. Immediately, I regretted it. I was only encouraging her to go on.

"You know," she said, smiling mischeviously at me when Allie wasn't looking. "How you can think you hate something, but then you try it, and find out you actually love it, and so you stop fighting it, and everything turns out better?"

I was speechless as to how Allie didn't catch Shay's less than subtle innuendos; but then again,  maybe they were obvious to me because I knew in the first place what she was talking about.

"I don't know," I muttered, figuring Allie would probably never get it. "I think love is kind of a strong word."

"Yeah?" she challenged. "Just wait."