Lost Half

25

Dear Ethan,

It felt so right when I wrote the first letter, so I decided to write a second. I am going to write one to you and one to my mother this time.

I was named after you. I also discovered that Uncle Ull is not Emily's brother. He's yours. I asked him about you.

"Uncle Ull, who's Ethan?" I asked.

"You," he stated.

"I mean Ethan Reign. Your last name is Reign."

Uncle Ull was silent for a minute. "I had a brother."

"Did he die in a car accident?" I prompted my uncle.

He seemed surprised, but he nodded. "Yes. How did you know?" Uncle Ull wondered.

"There's a paper at my school and I read some letters," I replied. "Was I related to this accident at all?"

"Yes, Ethan. You're Emily's son."

"How come you're taking care of me?"

He sighed. "She was abused. My family adopted her after Ethan died. She's my sister and my brother's lover," Uncle Ull explained. "So I'm not related to you at all."

So you're my mom's crush.

Dear Emily,

I'm your son Ethan. After you died, Uncle Ull took care of me. My room is your old one.

Even though I can't remember you, whenever I see a picture of you, I can't help but stare at it. You were only thirteen when I was born. You died because of me.

I miss you, even if I can't remember who you were. The teachers at school miss you and they treat me kindly, knowing my story. Everyone looks at me weird because of the memorial for you and Ethan. Most of them know that you had me at the age of thirteen.

Thank you for not aborting me or putting me up for adoption. I wouldn't have had a chance to live if you didn't let yourself die and let yourself have a baby. Thank you, Mom.