The Ascent

Chapter 25

"I've been meaning to ask you," Jasmine said later when the children were already fast asleep, worn out by the day's emotions. "How is it that everyone in your family managed to escape whatever happened to our city?"

The raw pain that flickered in his eyes made her realize that in an attempt to make herself feel better, to divert her attention from the sadness the girl's death caused her, she accidentally hit a sore spot.

"Not all of us escaped," Asher said, cautiously as if he was picking his words very carefully so as not to rip open the wound that clearly hadn't healed properly.

"I am so sorry, I just assumed..." Jasmine said, uncertain exactly what she had assumed. That a guy like him would stay single forever and take care of his children or something equally improbable? "Was it your girlfriend, new wife?"

The more she spoke, the more she felt like she was putting her foot in her mouth because no matter what the case was, it had nothing to do with her. Yet, surprisingly she really wanted to know.

"No, nothing like that," Asher said, smiling sadly. "It was my mother. She was with us visiting to help me with the children and..."

His eyes got so red and watery that it was only a matter of time before the tears started coming. Somehow that got to Jasmine more than it usually did when people cried in front of her. Because clearly, he wanted to stop himself. He wasn't looking for attention or pity. His pain was just too deep to control.

"I couldn't stop her," he said flatly while the first tear gently slid down his cheek. "I didn't even try to stop my mother when she ran out of the door looking like a person possessed. I wanted to stop her, but the children were hurrying towards the door, too. They had the same look in their eyes. So, I knew I couldn't stop all of them. I chose my children over my mother."

As he said that, it felt to Jasmine as if his shoulders relaxed, like the tension had drained out of him with that one confession. He had clearly been holding on to that for far too long, trying to be brave for the rest of them, doing his best to comfort them when he was the one who needed the reassurance the most.

Once again, Jasmine chose to break her own barriers and hug Asher, who no longer felt like as much of a stranger as he did before. Maybe it was the fact that he allowed her to see him so vulnerable, or she might have always felt safer with him than with most other people. Either way, she hugged him tightly, trying to convey with that one embrace that it wasn't his fault, that he was in an impossible situation, and he did as well as he could have.

"It's not your fault," Jasmine said, thinking that perhaps her hug didn't say as much as needed to be said. "I am sure your mother would have wanted you to make the same choice. After all, children are more vulnerable, and they need more protection. Your mother, all of them, are probably fine, just held hostages or something."

Either Asher believed her words, or he remembered that he was supposed to be the strong one, he broke the hug quickly, wiping away the moisture from his eyes. After giving Jasmine a look filled with gratitude and gentleness, which caused a slight blush to blossom on her cheeks, Asher continued speaking.

"I was listening to music on my earphones while preparing a presentation for work while mom and the kids were playing nearby," Asher said, his voice sounding stronger, focusing only on facts. "I always like to have them in my line of sight, especially after my wife died, so I immediately saw when all three of them got up and moved towards the door."

Jasmine supposed it must have been so hard for him to let go of his children for even a second. After all, they were the only thing he had left of his wife but also the most precious beings in his life. His overprotectiveness was understandable, even though Jasmine herself had never had anyone who meant to her as much as his children seemed to matter to him.

"At first, I didn't think much of it. I just assumed mom was taking them to get ice cream or something," Asher said, his eyes lost in the distance. "However, there was something...off in the way they moved. It almost felt like they were synchronized. So, I shouted my mother's name, but she didn't respond. She just continued walking."

Jasmine could imagine it all so clearly that she felt unease wrap around her whole body, imagining how unnatural, how disturbing that would have looked.

"When that didn't work, I went to her and put my hand on her shoulder, gently turning her back to face me. The empty look in her eyes startled me. However, I didn't give up," Asher said, reliving those frightening moments again. "I tried to shake her awake, but nothing happened. Mom just pushed me away and continued towards the door."

"What did you do?" Jasmine asked, so engrossed in the story that she forgot for a second that this was his real-life experience and not a suspenseful novel.

"What could I do?" Asher said, lifting his hands up in frustration. "I grabbed my children and held them tightly while I watched my mother leave like a zombie, deaf to all my pleas to stay. I could barely even hold on to the kids because they struggled so much as if their lives depended on it."

"Then, what happened?" I whispered softly, trying my hardest not to say just the wrong thing again.

"They kept struggling for some time. It could have been minutes or hours. I am not sure. Suddenly, they stopped, sagged over my arms, and fell asleep," Asher said, running his fingers through his hair. "It was the strangest and most terrifying experience of my life. As a father, all you ever want to do is protect your children, and the worst thing that can happen to you is to fail. If they had struggled for even a second more, my hands could have collapsed, and I could have lost them."

"But you didn't," I said, putting my hand on his, gently squeezing. "They are still here, safe, thanks to you."

"Thank you," Asher finally said, releasing a breath he didn't seem aware he was holding.

"For what?" Jasmine asked, confused.

"For reminding me that all that matters is that they are safe. I am sure my mother would have wanted the same," Asher said, looking at his children with gentleness and love that melted Jasmine's heart. "She would have never forgiven me if I chose to save her at the expense of her grandchildren, but it's still hard to accept what I did."

"I know, but if it means anything, I think you are such a brave person who made an impossible choice in a horrible situation. No one can blame you for that. Not even you," she said firmly, looking deep into his eyes, something she rarely did.

Seeing his lips pull into a bright smile, Jasmine knew the storm was over. They would be okay. They might all be a bit broken, but they can help each other pick up the shattered pieces and glue them together with devotion and care for each other.

Jasmine wasn't sure what kind of devotion she was referring to; it wasn't something she was ready to speculate about then. Still, she knew that there was some affection, a bond forming. It made her feel safe in a world that was anything but.

She finally started feeling like she belonged.