Her Dark Angels

Where Do I Go

"Fi-five days?" I asked barely in a whisper, my body trembling with shock.

"Yes, sweetheart. You... you had suffered a intensely severe head injury. A perforating gunshot wound, if the bullet would of hit even a millimeter lower, you wouldn't be sitting here with us today. You are extremely lucky, you were touch and go for a while there in surgery." Dr. Kennedy began to explain.

I closed my eyes, taking in and letting out a deep shaky breath, reaching my hand towards my wrapped head wound and let out a soft whimper. I couldn't even finish what i started, getting myself into even more trouble; oh god! What is dad going to do? He must already know I'm here... well I'll definitely be dead whenever i make it back home, that's for sure.

"What about my eyes? They're all blurry... is that going to be permanent?" I asked the doctor nervously.

"It may take a few hours for them to fully clear up. I'll go grab some eye drops, that should help clear it up a little faster for you." She replied while standing and before she could get to the door, the man in my room asked her "When can she be released?"

I'm in too much shock and confusion to place the voice, i know it's definitely not my father. The voice sounds so familiar but I'm too much of a mess to figure out who it belongs too.

"That's another matter we need to discuss... I'd like to hold her for a couple more days to keep a closer eye on her recovery." I can sense her hesitation as she starts to talk to the man again. "There is also the matter of all the scaring and bruising on 75% of her body..."  as she spoke. "Due to the severity of all the damage, we had to contact the authorities and file a report of abuse. They need to perform an investigation before they will allow her back into the home with her guardian. She may need to stay with a friend for a few a while, until everything is cleared up." Dr. Kennedy finished saying.

My whole body started to shake and my head frantically shook back and forth, reaching out to grab her hand. "NO! Please don't! Please. They can't ask him questions. Please!" I begged; it was bad enough i was in the hospital for almost a week, if they start asking questions, I'm not sure what my father will do to me.

She placed her hand on top of mine, rubbing gently; trying to calm me down. "Sweetheart, someone has been hurting you for a long time now, and its our responsibility to make sure you're going back to a safe home. We can't send you home if someone is there to hurt you further, especially in your current condition." I can hear the concern in her voice; but all i can think about if what my father will do to me when he finds out.

I let go of her hands and let my head fall back onto the pillows in defeat. Letting the tears fall, how had I messed up so bad that my whole life was falling apart? It was easy, shoot the gun and it'd be done, I'd be at peace. What had happened?

"She can stay with me for a while." The man spoke.

"She will need to be closely monitored for any pain, due to her head injury. We aren't sure what has been affected by the head trauma, let alone the trauma from the abuse she has suffered. I want her to see and physical and emotional therapists before she leaves our care." Dr. Kennedy explained to the man and me.

Who was this guy? How could I go anywhere with him, when I can't even tell who he is. Why would the hospital even let him take me?

"I'll be right back with those eye drops and then I want plenty of rest from you Sweetheart." She handed me a glass of water and walked out the door. There's a silence in the room for just a moment, before the man lets out a long sigh.

I muster up all the courage I have left just to ask "W-who are you?"

"You don't recognize my voice Sawyer?" He asked me in return.

"It sounds so familiar, but I just can't remember who you are..." I replied shyly.

"Maybe it's for the best, I don't want to upset you even more than you already are." The man said, while taking ahold of my hand, making me flinch away. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't hurt you did I?"

"N-no it's okay." I said taking a deep breath, trying to relax even a little. "Please, tell me who you are..."

"Are you sure? I don't want to upset you." He said carefully, like I'd run at any second.

"Yes, please? Not knowing is scaring me more..." I stated nervously.

He paused for a moment and then let out a long sigh; squeezing my hand a bit tighter as he said "It's Asher."

I gasped, pulling my hand away from his grasp. "No... no, no!" I cried out, moving further up my bed; pulling my knees to my chest, trying to make myself smaller. "Sawyer please, it's okay... I won't hurt you, I swear." His voice sounds so soft and full of concern.

No wonder I didn't recognize his voice, he hardly ever spoke to me and whenever he did his voice was taunting and cold. His voice now sounded soft and kind, something I've never heard from him.

"What are you doing here? Why do you want me to stay with you? Is it to hurt me?" I ramble out fear taking over any reasoning I have in me.

"No! Of course not! Sawyer I wouldn't hurt you." I can hear the hurt in his voice.

"But you've hurt me before, you've let other hurt me before. What's so different now?" I asked with a hint of anger in my voice.

He let out a deep sigh before he spoke again. "I know... I know Sawyer. I'm so sorry, I had no idea about everything you were going through... all the scars and bruises... you've been in so much pain and we hurt you even more. I can never make up for what we've done to you, but I'm willing to try if you'll let me..."

I shook my head in disbelief. "How could I ever trust any of you. After everything you guys have done or let the girls do, I could never trust you." His blurry figure moved closer to me, reaching his hand out to cup my face. A whimper escaped my lips as I waited for pain, but it never came.

"I will never hurt you again, and I won't let anyone else hurt you again either. I can't let you go back to that house, Sawyer... your father has been hurting you... they said... they said that you had trauma and your body is covered in scars and bruises... they also said that... that you had been sexually abused as well." His voice got softer at the last words.

I swallowed hard and the tears started to fall with ease. "Y-yes..." He already knew so there was no point in lying to him. "H-how could they tell?" I asked, squeezing my legs tighter to my chest, hating the fact that he knows my deepest and darkest secret.

"They said there was so much external scaring that concerned them, so they did a full body exam and found scaring internally as well." Asher replied cautiously. "Why did they tell you of all people, all this information about me?" I asked, tightening my grip even more, trying to shrink into myself, trying not to completely fall apart in front of him.

"At first they tried to reach your father, but they couldn't reach him. Then they found all the signs of your abuse, they didn't want him anywhere near you. Kason asked if we could be your temporary guardians until the investigation against your father in complete. Since you have no other relatives and my father is so well known and trusted, they agreed." Asher told me.

I scoffed. "Of course your family name, was all that it took to take me from one hell hole, to another with no say from me." I snap.

I think he was taken back by the fierceness of my words, silence fell upon us for a while. I had no idea where it came from, this whole situation was so insane, it made my head spin. My one chance to get out of this messed up life, had been ruined and now I was trapped with the very people who had tormented me for the last three years. No matter how genuine Asher my seem, I didn't believe a word he said. I wouldn't be letting my guard down with any of them, not even for one second. I may not be able to see all that great, but I would fight anyone then to have myself become a victim again.

I may be weak, but I need to come up with a plan to get away, to break free from everyone trying to control me.