"Wait, does this mean now I can work out again?" Jeongguk asks, his eyes full of joy.
"Yes..." I reply, at that, he does a tiny dance making me chuckle. God, all he cares about are those abs.
We walk past the barrack into the empty, lush green lawn. The sky truly looks gorgeous. Summing up with the cool breeze, and the glittering stars, it's just lovely. I had no plans of wandering around at night, but I don't regret joining Jeongguk now.
"Taehyung, don't you get upset when people see the weak side of you?" Jeongguk blurts out, cutting the silence. He can be very abrupt sometimes. Very.
"Uh- No..."
"But like, how are you okay when people know the bad side of you?" He averts his eyes toward me. There's intensity and a lot of confusion visible in them.
"First up, there's a HUGE difference between your bad side and your weak side. Everyone has flaws. If we try to hide them or pretend that they don't exist we end up hurting ourselves, don't you think?" I turn my head towards him now. "It's okay to have flaws. Everyone has their own set of problems, just look at me. I'm really bad at making friends and social interactions. But look! Here I am giving you a speech. I hope I didn't confuse you even more." Jeongguk shakes his head, smiling.
"If you come out with your flaws and face the world you find a way to make them more bearable."
We settle down on the grass and stretch our legs, gazing at the moon. The cool air kisses my cheeks as it blows by.
"You know Jeongguk, I didn't have any friends at school. Like proper friends. I over-shared things with others, and they ended up hurting me. I used to be scared of people not liking me and I had this huge insecurity about my way of living, you know. My parents are really frugal and simple. So I was afraid to mix in with others who were a bit more...a bit more fancy and rich. God, this sounds so petty, I'm sorry." Shit. What am I saying?
"Hey no, it's totally fine," Jeongguk reassures, nudging me with his elbow. I look at him, the reflection of the moon in his soft eyes. Funny isn't it? The biggest problem in someone's life can be the last thing another person worries about.
"Jeongguk," I turn my head towards him.
"Mhm?"
"I literally bored you with my biggest problems. How about you tell me one of yours if you don't mind." I pause. Am I crossing my line? Why is communicating with people so hard!?
Jeongguk says nothing, staring off somewhere far. I watch as his Adam's apple bobs as he runs his fingers through the tangles of his hair.
"Well, I'm completely opposite of yours....I never over-shared things. I never shared things with people in the first place." He lets out a weak laugh. "I pull off this confident I-don't-give-fuck-about-anything personality and never really talk about my problems." He gulps and continues.
"When I.....when I was five years old I-" Jeongguk struggles to let those words out. "It h-happened on one rainy n-night," He folds his legs and places his palm on his head, fingers still fidgeting with his hair. "It was all my fault-" He shudders and mutters something but I'm not able to see as he's scrunching his back and hiding his face. Okay, this was a bad idea.
"It's fine Jeongguk, you don't need to-"
"It was ALL my fault!" He lets out an argh, his grip tightening on his hair, and starts shaking. He hugs his feet with his free hand and buries his head down completely.
"Jeongguk-ah..." I slowly place my hand on his shoulder. "We should go back now, it's getting cold. You okay?" I ask innocently, as if I don't know that he's having some kind of meltdown. Which maniac asks an orphan about their trauma? Taehyung, you idiot. Jeongguk clearly has some sort of problem, Jin hinted it when he said, Poor guy, he was too young to understand anything but still he acted all tough and okay in front of everyone. I watch him mumble things to him helplessly. You need to do something Taehyung, at least don't sit and just watch him suffer! I scoot closer to him and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to stop his shivering.
"Leave me alone!" I flinch when he looks up, my heart pounding now. His face is red and I can clearly see a couple of nerves popping out of his neck. Taking my hand away from him, I try to recall the things you do to take care of a person having an anxiety attack. This isn't an anxiety attack but I can't think of anything else.
1. Take the person to a quiet place. We're already in one.
2. Tell them they're not alone.
"It's okay Jeongguk-ah, I'm here...its okay," No response.
3. Make them inhale and exhale slowly.
"Hey...look here," I carefully raise his chin with my fingers, and make him look into my eyes. The eyes which were reflecting soft moonlight, are now teary and red. "Take a deep breath," He blinks and then follows, his chest rising as he inhales. "Good, let it out now," I try and reach out with my hand again, but this time I rub his back. He doesn't swat me away this time. Bingo!
We take more deep breaths till he stops muttering, my hand moves up and down his back, and gradually the shivering stops. Our eye contact never breaks once.
"Should we go back in?" I whisper softly.
He nods slightly, hand stroking his hair again. I get up and offer my hand to him, to make him stop fiddling with his hair. I think it's his nervous tick- fidgeting with his hair.
I don't have the keys to his barrack room and he's not in the state to open it himself, so I take him to my tent where Hoseok lies, snoring peacefully. Making Jeongguk sit on my cot, I take off his shoes. He then leans on my pillow as I put my blanket on him.
"Jeongguk-ah, sleep now. It's okay, hmm? I'll be right here if you need anything. Good night," I try and release my hand from his, which we're still holding but his grip tightens.
"Stay with me,"
_____
heyy my lovely readers!! just wanted to thank y'all for reading my fanfic. This is my favorite chapter and i hope you guys are enjoying the fanfic. Do feel free to comment your thoughts and suggestions, I would love to hear what you guys think about by story.
-Swara <3
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Stay With Me (SWM #1) | A Taekook Series
FanfictionKim Taehyung, a pediatrician with an ordinary life meets Jeon Jeongguk, an orphan, while completing his mandatory military service. Watch them fall for each other as Taehyung joins Jeongguk in missions (and almost dies). . . . Lots of love t...