Soon You'll Get Better // Sandor Clegane

5. Little Lion

'Tywin I can't.' Johanna sobbed

'You can do this. You're so brave, almost there.' He coed pushing back her sweat slicked hair. 'Come on Johanna. Come on. Another push.' Johanna didn't have any fight left in her but the look on her husbands face she had to keep going. What was her alternative? Keep the child hostage in her body...

'God why is this one so... so... argh!' she screamed out again and again.

Cersei and Jaime heard the screams echoing as their hand maidens tried to settle them but they were anxious to see their mother.

'They are hurting her!" Cersei shouted.

"Stop them!" Jaime agreed.

"No my lord and my lady,' the hand maiden assured. 'she is having a baby, it is a loud and messy process.'

'No they are hurting her.' Cersei demanded. 'Tell them to stop.'

"Once the baby comes there will be no pain.'

'I want to see her!" Jaime demanded putting his hands on his hips. 'I need to protect her. I told father I would.'

"My lord,' she coed kneeling before them. 'Once the baby comes everything will be fine. I assure you.'

'Argh!' she screamed out but the child tore her apart. Her panting breath slowed and her eyes flickered open and closed. Blood pooled at her hips. Estella looked hesitantly from Lady lannister to lord Lannister. She knew that she was losing too much blood. 

'A boy, my lord." estella remarked and tywin smiled widely but the wet nurses didn't look pleased. Estella smiled down at the little babe as he cried and kicked. 

'What's wrong?' Tywin questioned.

"He's strong." Estella remarked but the maester took the babe from her and held him up tywin stared at the child. He was deformed a dwarf an imp. He shook his head vigorously as he took a step back. He turned his attention back to Johanna holding her hand.

'It's alright Jo, you did so good,' he told her kissing her clammy head. 'Johanna? Johanna?' He stared down at her limp and bloody before him. 'Johana? Wake up.' He was shaking her now but she lay motionless before him.

'He tore through her my lord. '

Estella cradled the babe to her as she tried to become invisible. She tried to soothe his cries as Tywin began to shout and cry over his wife. 

'No!' Tywin exclaimed. 'No! She cant be gone for the likes of that!'

'I'm sorry my lord,' the maester checked for a pulse but Johanna had none.

'Out.' Tywin demanded

'The child?'

'Out.' He sneered tears in his eyes as he looked down at his wife. Dead. The love of his life, just gone. Just like that. Estella brought the baby out and found a wet nurse to feed him, then bathed him, clothed him, wrapped him up, swaddled and his cries ceased. Estella smiled down at him wondering if one day she would have a baby of her own. 

Tywin didn't know how long he had spent staring down at her corpse when Jaime and cersei came running in.

'Mommy!' Cersei shouted trying to wake her, jaime stared down at the blood. They didnt understand. Their mother was fine. Vibrant and alive. Singing them songs and kissing them goodnight. She couldn't be gone. She couldn't.

'Mother!' Cersei shouted

'Cersei she's gone. She's dead.' Tywin told her softly.

'No!' She shouted jumping up into the bed she knelt in the blood holding onto Johanna screaming and sobbing to wake up.

'Father?' Jaime questioned

'The baby tore her apart.' Tywin whispered. A handmaiden stood in the door and tywin nodded for them to take the twins. They didn't need to see this. They didn't need this to be the last memory of her.

Cersei's dress was soaked in her mothers blood as she cried out jaime had to be dragged away he couldn't look away. His feet rooted to the floor as he reached out for her.

'Father?' Jaime murmured. 'No no please no,' jaime whimpered.

When Tyrion was born, Estella helped Johanna Lannister with the birth and unfortunately, her death. Estella held up the babe and he seemed to smile up at her. She cradled him to her as Tywin shouted and sobbed out. Johanna was his one great love. She hoped not to lose her head. She didnt kill Johanna but higher lords and ladies didnt seem to care about such things.

The day Tyrion was born, Johanna had died.

Tywin debated ending things for the little babe, he had even brought Tyrion down to the stream as he wailed out.

Tywin had tears in his eyes. He stood in the water, the waves crashing against him. He held the baby out seemingly ready to drop him but he looked down at him one more time. More tears fell from his face. Tywin couldnt do it, this boy was his. This boy was Lannister. Tywin turned around, the baby still in his arms.

Tywin handed Tyrion to Estella with a hiss. Estellas mouth moved wordlessly. 

"Tyrion fucking Lannister." Tywin declared through gritted teeth. 

"Hello Tyrion... welcome to the world little lion." Estella coed pressing a kiss to his forehead.