New - (boyxboy)

Chapter 25 - It's Over

"What did you just say?" Ryan asked furiously.

Will froze in shock. He couldn't believe he'd said what he'd just said. 

This isn't going to be good... he thought.

"Tell me what you just said," Ryan repeated, this time as an order rather than a question. Will opened his mouth to give him a response but he just couldn't. The answer was stuck in his throat. He just couldn't bring himself to repeat what he'd just moaned out loud.

"Goddammit, Will, just fucking say it again," Ryan grounded out. It was obvious in Ryan's tone that he didn't want to hear it again, but he couldn't believe what Will had said, especially in the situation they were in.

"I-I didn't mean to, Ry, I swear! I-I-I, it was an accident, I didn't mean to! Oh my god, Ryan, I didn't mean to, I'm so sorry," Will was finally able to stammer out before breaking down into tears. The emotions were too much for Will at that point. He didn't want to cry but it was just too much.

Ryan scoffed. He wasn't going to fall for Will's obvious ploy for pity. Not this time. He pushed the other boy off from on top of him and slid across the other side of the bed as Will stabilised himself from being pushed.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Will!" Ryan shouted angrily, causing Will to jump in shock. He had never heard his boyfriend this angry before. "We were finally going all the way! We-we were... making love for the first time, Will. So tell me, god-fucking-damn tell me why the hell you moaned his name instead of mine?!" Ryan yelled, angrier than before.

Will shook in his spot as his fear paralysed him. He didn't want to say the name out loud again, and truthfully, he had no idea why he'd said his name. Will was really at a loss for words at that moment. He had no idea what he should do, or what he should say. Ryan was glaring at him now, his breath ragged from the screaming and both teens' eyes welling up with tears.

"I was fucking you, Will, I was fucking you. So why the hell did you scream OLIVER?!" Ryan bellowed furiously, his voice going hoarse as he shouted that dreaded name. Will broke down into sobs once again as Ryan let tears stream down his face, not caring anymore to hold them back.

"I'm sorry, Ryan, I'm so, so sorry," Will repeated over and over as he cried. He didn't have anything else to say, he couldn't explain himself, he couldn't give Ryan an answer. All he was was sorry.

Ryan sat, getting angrier and angrier as Will continued to repeat himself. Sorry meant nothing to him right now, especially from the crying mess in front of him. For the months he'd been dating Will, he was always wary of Oliver and the lingering feelings Will had for him. No matter how much Will dismissed it and said he'd moved on, Ryan knew he hadn't. But as time went on, and Will stayed with him, Ryan got comfortable and let his guard down. He cares more about me than him, he'd think to himself constantly.

But here they were, going all the way for the first time. It was a special moment in their relationship and filled with so much emotion – to Ryan, anyway – and the person on Will's mind wasn't him. The person on Will's mind never seemed to be him. 

But why?

"Stop it," Ryan barked, having enough. "Stop saying you're sorry, Will, stop it!"

Will stopped, not wanting to anger his boyfriend any further. Hopefully, Ryan stayed his boyfriend. The two sat in silence, the only sound coming from Will's occasional sniffling.

"Remember that night after I broke my leg?" Ryan started. Will nodded, unsure where this was going. "We were in the kitchen and I said to you that I felt like I'd been doing a lot of stupid stuff lately. And I felt like a lot of the decisions I'd made were stupid and I've been doing everything wrong," Ryan continued, staring at his beddings as he expressed how he was feeling. Now was no time to hold back how he felt. He needed to tell Will exactly what he thought. He'd been holding back for so long and let it pent up, again. He took a stuttered breath, trying to hold back his building emotions.