All of me (Part of Me Book 2)

Chapter 14

*1
And I don’t want the world to see me ‘cause I don’t think that they’d understand.
Why would I want them to understand me anyway? Oh yeah, right. Because I care too much about everything, including their thoughts about me. I want them to think that I am strong and never easy. I want them to see that I am more than enough so they won’t take me for granted just like what happened to me wayback in high school. I don’t want them to see the real me- a sweet soft-hearted girl who cares too much and breaks so easily. Why? Because those trait put me in the cage of heartache once, credits to my dear ex-boyfriend. But then, as time passed by, the mask became my real. I never thought I’ll be this guarded about everything. I am no longer friendly, innocent, modest. Time, events and people did this to me. And well, THANKS TO THEM. I’m loving who I am now. They say I’m so hard to befriend with, well, do I care? No. Society made me not to care too much because I’m living a life not to please each and every-damn-one of them. I live for myself and for the people that I love. And they’re the one that matters.
I live for my dreams, what’s destined to me and for the people that matters to me.
~XyBry

*2
Kambs is freaking daydreaming because of her crush. And I was like, seriously? Who does that? It’s pathetic. Okay. Sabihin na nating, it’s natural na kikiligin ka but daydreaming is way too much. No. Seriously. Ugh. Eww to death! And then Neil butt in, saying na bitter ako that’s why I don’t have a crush. Like really? Hindi naman ako bitter e, wala akong crush because…well, just because. And porke’t wala akong crush bitter na ako, I just have standards. And yung kilig, kusa naman ‘yan dumarating at nararamdaman sa taong…I don’t know, basta sa taong kababaliwan mo? Yata. Oh well. Who cares! Bitterness is a part of moving on. And I’m through with that. I moved on but not yet ready to fall once more. Kaya huwag nga nilang i-connect ang zero love and crush life ko sa ex ko! OMG lang ha. Nakakainis kaya kapag pinagpipilitan nilang hindi kapa naka-move on. Tss. Porke walang bago di na nakamove on. Di pwedeng wala lang talaga at nagpapahinga pa?
And now, Hens happened. Really? Makakita lang talaga sila ng lalake. Nako! UD talaga. Tss.
Boring ang buhay na puro friendship, family at sarili.
So may pinaglalaban nanaman ang kambal ko. Do I really reject “the feelings” kapag nandiyan na? Ugh! I hate it when she’s being so lovee-expertee. Napapaisip din ako e! Then she’s pushing me to Hens, who they just met a while ago. Haay naman! Ang crush hindi din pinipilit 'no.

*3
CHARACTERISTICS NG GUY NA DI KO DAPAT MAGING CRUSH
1.Soooooobrang gwapo.
2.Bad boy look/aura.
3.Close sa girls.
4.Hindi ko friend!

Signed,
Xy Brynne Ybarra (na sobrang ganda :D)
There. This is the basis who NOT to like. Ay. Crush lang pala. K.
Pero oo nga ‘no? Why is it that wala na akong naging crush or nagustuhan after that shitty break up with my ex? Masyado na ‘yatang nag-inarte yung puso ko. Pero kahit na ganun ang ending namin ni Zeke, thankful parin ako kasi nagkaroon ako ng basehan kung paano nga ba talaga ang relasyon. I learned that problems, misunderstandings, or whatever should be resolved. Dapat pinag-uusapan, kasi kapag pinapabayaan, lumalaki, lumalala that might cause chaos and/or destruction of the two of you. And ‘yung love na naramdaman ko noon, yun na yung basehan ko kung ano nga ba ang hindi pa true love. Yes, what I’ve felt for him years ago is true but it’s not true love. He’s the one I’m destined to go crazy with. And how we ended things is so tragic. Like really? Sinabihan niya akong nakakahiya? The nerve?! Pero oh well, nakakahiya nga naman ako, hindi dahil sa nagmumura ako kundi dahil sa nagpakatanga ako sakaniya. Eww. Kadiri pala. Buti nalang dumating ako sa point na time’s up na…nakakasawa na..nakakapagod na pala magpakatanga.
Okay! Drama na! Kadiri! Korni!

*4
OMG! SABI KO ANG KORNI NG EXCHANGE THINGY PERO AKALAIN MO NGA NAMAN OF ALL PEOPLE, AKO PA?!?! SHIIIIIIT! HEARTBREAK! WHY PROFESSORS? WHYYY? :(