the five of us are dying | mcr x reader

Gerard's Ending

If You Wanted Honesty

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Romance, Drama

Summary: Sequel to The Five Of Us Are Dying (x). It’s 2011, and after performing a sold-out show in Boise, Gerard demands the answer you promised. 1/4 of my The Five Of Us.... Alternate Endings series.
So much had happened since 2006.

___

Two years’ worth of touring in support of Black Parade has worn you and the other members of My Chemical Romance out, physically, psychologically, and creatively. The stress caused by your accidental confession had only made it worse. You were constantly worried that the boys would figure out it was Gerard you liked, and that it would ruin your friendship with all of them.

You couldn’t tell Gerard the truth. What if you two dated and then broke up? What would happen to the band? What if Mikey, or Frank, or Ray, had feelings for you, and got so jealous that you reciprocated Gerard’s that they couldn’t work with him anymore? The band’s success was the most important thing to you. It meant the world not just to you and the other members, but to thousands of fans across the globe. If MCR broke up because of your stupid crush on Gerard, the tabloids would call you the next Yoko Ono.

You couldn’t have that, and so, for years, you stifled your feelings. It made you feel distracted and unfulfilled and it even started affected your drumming. Maybe that was why Conventional Weapons tanked. But, now, after some time apart from your band, you thought you’d finally got your head on straight. You’d successfully helped record Danger Days, and now the band was back on tour again.

You were on stage, in front of an arena full of kids, drumming your heart out. Even though you’d been the drummer of My Chemical Romance for seven years now, you still got nervous sometimes that you were going to slip up and play the wrong note. You put all your focus into tapping the skins, hitting the rims, getting the beat just right. After all, if you fucked up, it would throw everyone else’s timing off.

You were sweating with the effort when you successfully finished the last song of the set. It was “Helena” – closing the show with that tune had become a tradition by now. You never got tired of hearing the fans sing “So long and goodnight” along with Gerard.

“I hope you had a great time tonight, Boise!” Gerard shouted to the crowd.

Wait…..Boise? you thought. You hadn’t even remembered what city you were in tonight. When the tour bus took you to a new city every single night, they all started to blur together after a while. It was always get there, play your songs, get out – no time to rest or even think.

But the name Boise was suddenly making you think very hard – about something you hadn’t thought about in five years. Or, at least, had been trying not to think about.

“Do you guys remember a little scandal the band had, all the way back in 2006?” Gerard spoke into the mic. “It was all over the tabloids back then, wasn’t it? Y/N said in an interview that she had a little crush on one of us boys, but she wouldn’t say who it was on!”

The crowd screamed in response. You couldn’t even tell if it was a “yay” or a “boo”, but it certainly got a rise out of them.

“I remember all the fans went on the message boards, like, ‘OMG, who do you think her crush is?’”, Gerard continued.  “And I know some of you guys wrote your little fanfictions about it……”

Wait, what?! People shipped you with Gerard? You knew that some people had written fanfic about Frank and Gerard. That was why the two of them had stopped acting so touchy on stage. But, you never realized there was fic about you. It wasn’t like you ever read that shit anyway. The idea that there was badly written porn out there about your four closest friends was incredibly awkward to you.