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THE SKY TURNED lilac and gray as hours passed, and all the while, Reo tried to distract himself with his college assignments.
He was having a bad day; he had woken up on the wrong foot and texted Chris about taking the day off. Reo wasn't sure if his mood was due to his own mind needing a break or the situation with Seishiro having set him off. The point was that he couldn't be in the rink at the moment because both skating and Seishiro were stressors. Reo sighed, putting his pen down.
He had tried to keep his thoughts academically focused. He had finished summarizing another thematic unit and yet, the memory of the previous day returned to the edges of his mind like a skin rash waiting to break out. As much as he tried to ignore it, he would have to deal with his feelings sooner or later. They simply wouldn't disappear.
Why did Seishiro have to move to Toronto and complicate everything?
No, Reo reminded himself to worry more about things that he could actually control. Nagi's presence was an irreversible fact, and Reo's feelings for him were also undeniable. The real question relied on what he should do about Seishiro and the easy answer was right in front of his face: stay the fuck away. What was difficult then, resisting the attraction? The part of himself that wanted to give in to old temptations?
If he were just instincts and heart, this dilemma wouldn't exist. It wouldn't because he would've gone back to Seishiro after Friday when the skater so easily smiled and cradled Reo's face – like a friend would do, or a lover. If he were all instincts...
I wouldn't be a person, Reo scoffed, I would be like an excited puppy swearing allegiance to his master despite everything. If he were to follow his instincts like a naive pet lacking brains, he would be accepting all the harm that came his way because now he knew what Seishiro was truly capable of. Now, he would have some blame if he allowed Seishiro to hurt him again.
Then why? Why was it so hard to convince himself to avoid the other?
Needing a second opinion – or an opportunity to simply vent his feelings so they wouldn't pile up inside him – Reo leaned his cell phone against his open laptop, and began to check which of his friends were online. He could call Mei-Ling or Shidou and wait until they arrived from practice, but as much as he trusted them, they weren't the type of friends Reo wanted to inform of this.
He required someone harsher, who wouldn't care for Seishiro's side of the story.
Reo tapped on Asuka's number.
"Hey," she greeted, a few minutes after he initiated the call. The swelling of her rosy nose let Reo know he hadn't caught her at a good time. "Why aren't you in practice?"
