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NAGI HAD BEEN expecting many things except that one. He tried to think of why Reo would feel like he had to apologize, and he held onto all the hints he's gotten so far to reassure himself that Reo was not apologizing because he was going to reject him.
His breathing didn't catch, only because he had forgotten to breathe.
"And I would've done it sooner, but I had midterms and practice, and... it never felt like the right time. I've given this all much thought, you and me, everything that happened and that could happen from now on... I think I've finally been able to put my feelings into simple words. So first, I'd like to say sorry."
At Seishiro's lack of an answer, Reo repeated himself. "I'm sorry I didn't confess to you directly. I should've swallowed down my fears instead of underestimating you. I was clearly expecting you to break my heart, and maybe you would've, but I should've given you the chance."
Nagi didn't agree. It was ironic, how he's demanded an apology for those very same reasons since they saw each other again, but now he didn't need to hear it at all. Even if Reo hadn't confronted him, Nagi, too, had a part in why Reo underestimated him and his emotional intelligence.
He didn't say so because Reo kept going and it looked like he needed to pour everything out uninterrupted. "Although you didn't help me with my burnout or my problems, it wasn't fair to put that burden on you. After all, it was me who didn't feel like I was enough, remember? I told you in my letter how I would've done anything for you to like me, and that low self-esteem could not have been fixed by love and friendship alone. I shouldn't have burdened you like that."
"No, nothing about you burdens me. I shouldn't have let you think that," Seishiro argued, leaning close. He wanted to touch Reo, to comfort him, but he didn't know if he was allowed. "I should have made you feel like you were enough. If anything, I shouldn't have given you more trouble."
Reo's eyes shined for him, an emotion passing so fast that Seishiro couldn't put a name to it. Maybe they'd never agree on this particular thing, or maybe they were both right to some extent.
"Well, that doesn't matter anymore, Sei. Perhaps it's time we leave all of that behind and start again, and for that, I need you to know I don't hate you. I never could."
Although it was the thing Seishiro had wanted for weeks, he still couldn't quite believe it. In the bus, Reo had made it seem like moving on was impossible. "What made you change your mind?" He asked.
"You," Reo smiled.
Just one word and Seishiro felt Reo take over an empty space in his heart again. He could finally relate to what Reo had written years ago about not knowing of a part of his heart that belonged to him. That was his, in itself. Always has been.
