Guiltiness

Hogwarts

Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy had been inseparable since they first met on the train to Hogwarts years ago. Yes, it was a coalition of the outcasts, as Scorpius was too original-minded even for a wizarding school, and most students considered him a nerd. The occasionally spread stories that he was Voldemort's son did not add to his popularity either. He didn't mind that the other students didn't talk to him. The only one he cared about was Albus. Sometimes he was very possessive of him. However, Albus did the same to Scorpius, so in the end, they were so fixated on each other that they hardly let anyone else into their company. The girls naturally noticed that these two boys were quite attractive, especially the blond grey-eyed Scorpius had a certain charm for them, but they understood that it was not worth trying. At most, one could talk with the blond about some advanced magic or muggle science topic. The subject impressed some of the pretty Ravenclaws, who would have been overjoyed if he had shown them his father's laboratory, but none succeeded.

Albus didn't have it easy at school, either. As the son of the Boy Who Lived, he was constantly compared to Harry, and the comparison usually ended disastrously for him. The crucial moment was his inclusion in the Slytherin house, which Albus understood as a life failure at the beginning of his school career. The only consolation for the shy boy was that he shared this unprestigious house with Scorpius. Wise hat - phew! After all, Scorpius would have deserved Ravenclaw more. He was undoubtedly the smartest in his year. He did well in all subjects, he was a potions expert, and he also knew much information from muggle science... Albus admired him to no end. He learned to rely on him even with help with school preparation. And that was another thing. Harry's son struggled with school from the start; he would have failed Potions for sure if it wasn't for Scorpius's constant help. He was even examined in his first year to see if he was suffering from dysmagia (being a squib), which fortunately was not confirmed. Even so, it was all endlessly humiliating, and Albus withdrew into himself, dreading any test, especially if it was oral in front of the students. If not for his devoted friend, he might have fled Hogwarts.

However, something changed in their relationship this year. Not that they didn't want to be together or that antagonism would arise between them, but still - something was different for Albus. He always felt awkward in front of everyone else, but with Scorpius, he was always completely relaxed and not afraid to be his true self. Now it was the complete opposite. Next to Scorpius, he was restless. He suddenly didn't know what to talk about; he couldn't bear to look into his eyes. He didn't understand it. However, Scorpius's strong point was empathy, so he quickly noticed this change in his friend's behaviour. They never hid anything from each other, so he decided to find out what was behind it. He understood that Albus must be all hurt by his parent's divorce. He never came to terms with the death of his mother; he helped his dad Draco survive for several years, so he was ready to become a psychological support for his friend as well.

One evening they were sitting together, as they had been many times in the past, on the bed, looking through one of the popular muggle magazines about space that Scorpius had secretly taken from Draco.

"Albus, I wanted to ask you something. Lately, you've been, I don't know how to say it - don't you have a problem? Can I help you with something?"

Albus rolled his eyes to the floor and shook his head.

"Nothing to worry about." It sounded irritated, which only solidified the sensitive intellectual's theory that his assumption was based on truth. Something is bothering Albus; it will probably be more serious if he doesn't want to speak about it. He gently took his hand and pressed it in his for a long time. This time the dark-haired boy did not react so hostilely. Scorpius hugged him tightly. "You know I'll always be here for you."

Albus nodded and – suddenly, completely unplanned – pressed his lips to Scorpius's. He realised in a second what he had just done and pulled away sharply.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." He ran headlong out of the bedroom and into the Slytherin common room.

"Where's your significant other?" one of his classmates mocked him. "Siamese twins separated?" laughed another.

So he won't find refuge here either? The library will probably be closed by now too... Isn't there a place in Hogwarts where he wouldn't meet anyone? Everywhere there are either teachers who deduct points for running in the corridors after lights out or annoying classmates. He walked outside the castle and headed towards the herb garden, where they grew magical plants with his favourite professor Longbottom.

Herbology was one of his favourite subjects. It seemed to him that the flowers understood him, communicated with him and were grateful for every little attention he gave them. The evening air was saturated with beautiful scents, and the sky above was lit with infinite stars. Albus already knew from Scorpius that these are cosmic bodies that go through their own life, arise and disappear, and thermonuclear reactions occur in them. Is it incompatible with divination from the stars? Astrology was such a fascinating subject! And what exactly is muggle science? While Scorpius had no problem working with this kind of information, Albus viewed it all with distrust, and if it weren't for his friend, he probably would have settled for a classical wizarding education. On the other hand, he realised that everything Scorpius was teaching him made logical sense. Maybe he wouldn't be such an outsider at a muggle school, who knows? He walked along the sandy paths, his mind wandering restlessly in his memories, but he avoided the freshest one. He had no idea what he would do in the next few minutes.

However, he suddenly found that he was not alone in the garden. He found a bent girl's figure by one of the flowerbeds. She carefully plucked something, shining her wand only at the lowest possible intensity. She obviously didn't notice that she was being watched. Albus tried to find out which herbs the girl was picking. He knew the garden well; it was obvious that these were the less dangerous ingredients they used in the weakest love potion. He felt a surge of empathy, knowing exactly how the unfortunate creature must feel. He sat motionless in the dark until the girl left. She almost didn't reveal her identity, but her red hair flashed as she hurried away. Rose Weasley! He had no idea who she was interested in. She had shown him and Scorpius almost contempt until recently, so he had no idea about her love life - not that he cared.

It was getting cold outside, and it was clear that he would have to go back to the Slytherin bedroom. Reluctantly, he got up and wandered back to the castle, hoping he wouldn't run into any of the teachers. He crept along the darkened corridor, not even breathing in terror. Suddenly, someone bumped into him. Albus was terrified. He really couldn't afford another school trouble.

"I'm looking for you everywhere," the person said. In a moment, Scorpius held his hand and pulled him back to the bedrooms. He didn't ask anything. Even though his school record was more or less spotless so far, he, too, would prefer to avoid school punishment. They were finally safe in the Slytherin dormitory, which on the other hand, meant Albus had to return to the question he was trying to escape.

Scorpius didn't seem bothered by anything. He treated Albus precisely as before, except he planted a clumsy kiss on him before going to sleep.

And so it continued in the following days. No change, they were still best friends, and neither of them started any serious conversation on the subject. It's just that Scorpius was more intimate with Albus now, sometimes squeezing his hand, occasionally lightly stroking his hair, and sometimes giving him a light kiss when no one was looking. Albus was so afraid of the fragility of their new relationship that he preferred not to take any further initiative.