Of Blackjack and stepping up

Chapter 13: twisted feelings

(Tw for this one:

Heavily implied csa, aswell as human trafficking
S//c/de attempts are talked abbout
Generally disturbing thougths
Implied non consensual tattooing
Sligthly insensetive treatment (they do not mean bad, however Mori is not nessacrily socially aware of harm they cause))

•

••Alex pov•••

Alex thinks he is dying. It could be the five people all inspecting his lower body.

He feels dread when one of them, a man he'd assume is in his thirties, starts to speak. "Well, i can take you out for a date after this doll"

He immediately just drops all facial expression from his previous smile. His insides want to explode as soon as he hears the last word.

A woman, Alex would assume in her 30es, what he already finds nauseating, laughs.

It's not that he has an issue with older women, just that she also happens to be blond, tall and soft-faced. She looks like his mother.

He has this discomfort at the presence of most older women in general but that rings all alarm bells he could possibly have.

He shakes. He feels like his skin is peeling.

The woman makes a comment about him being very scarred. He pleads with whatever god there is that they don't need to look at his thigh. He himself avoids that area if he doesn't have to Touch it. He even covers it in the shower.

But of course the nurse needs to look and…

Radio silence.

Of course, now they pity him. Where else is an adult like him supposed to come from? A soft nice place where everyone loves each other? Seriously?
He is littered with scars, and misses an eye. He has a goddamn burn mark on his back classing him as not a person and they still don't realize?

People truly are all the same. Only looking when it benefits them.

He notices a the needles in his arm fully for the first time.

Until he hears a very polite knock on the door he isn't present. Not in a nice way. More trapped in his own mind.
He assumes its the worst person to visit and hides under his blanket just in case it truly is her.

The steps are sligthly to heavy to be hers.

"Alex? I got lunch for you. The nurses told me they'd rather not enter and since I already wanted to visit you I was told to bring it to you'' It's Viktors voice.

"Is Jane alright?"

"The child? Yeah, Mori is watching her. She misses you from what I gathered."

"That's good."

"Would you like to eat? I can help you if you want."

"No but I have to." He forces a smile. It's partially earnest, in the way Alex is excited to meet Viktor again deep down.

He doesn't know why. The thought makes his face warm and is Cozy but he cannot find out why.

"You look quite pretty today. Not that you aren't pretty usually, you always look very pretty" Viktors face is slightly warmer than usual.

"I am sorry to ask it like this but is your vision failing?" Alex isn't necessarily nice but that's his first thought.

"I don't think so. I see you very clearly and you are very pretty." As if to prove it, Viktor traces the scar above Alex eyebrow. It slightly dips in the eyebrow but not fully. "Not that its only the scars, but i do think they add to it. I never saw a face like yours. It's really nice."