Of Blackjack and stepping up

new solutions and horrible plans

(This is already out on a03 because i wrote sm else for that
Tw:
Past csa
Throwing up
Sick childeren).

Alex sits down on his bed. He looks in his mind for some of the few fond memories he has.

He doesn't like the search, but the memory makes him smile

"Are you sure this will work out?" A younger Alex mumbeld. He should be around 15/16. Not that you could assume he was older than 12 because his growth like any child was dependent on proper care and god knows Kat didn't provide that.

"Yes! I just need to get this thing off and then we can finally see each other after school" a younger Viktor said, sounding more confident. As soon as they removed the rusty old grid, he climbed inside.

Alex tried to catch him which semi worked. "I got you" he mumbles. "She won't come down during those hours. I somehow convinced her to let me move claiming it'd…. Help her goal."

Alex bites his lip. But he kept playing the memory despite the weird moment

"I am glad.'' They said, holding his hand tightly. "You are quite lovely, you know?"

A faint blush, but a blush nonetheless shows on Alex's face. "It's nothing. You wanted to come here, i just helped you"

"I wanted to make sure you are fine. After all, you are my best friend. I care about you a lot."

Alex's face heats up even more at his sweetness.

"I am glad we are at least together in this" They smiled at him. "I'd be lost without you." He squeezed Alex's hand.

"You are the only person to make me forget about her. It's like when I am with you nothing bad can happen"

Viktor smiles even brighter. "I will make sure that when we are together you won't get hurt."

"I promise you the same. Whatever happens, I will protect you."

Alex didn't want a declaration of love. This promise of safety was one and so much more.

"Thank you. I will make sure to never forget you, Alexander."

"Even if we are seperated for years?"

"Even then. I will never forget you."

Suddenly it was all bearable. The constant physical pain, the headaches, the terror constantly plaguing his life. It for just a minute felt less just because he knew someone cared for him. Even the icy cold felt just a little warmer. Which might have to do with Viktor having cuddled into his side. He smiled fondly, resting his head on the olders shoulder.

He for once didn't feel like a pig raised to slaughter, but rather a person that's appreciated and loved. "I think I am safe." It wasn't a typical love confession but it worked. But just to add, Alex whispered: "I love you."

"Love you too."
And with that they dozed off, dreaming of being different people who had different lifes where they weren't tyrannized by horrible people.

The memory made Alex feel silly. It's a fond memory of his past, a rare thing. He feels quite comforted by the reminder.

It doesn't fix things, he still feels dozens of hands everywhere and a kind of dirt sticking to him, but it helps. It's almost numbing. Like someone wrapping an injury and putting numbing cream on it. It doesn't fix it but it helps a lot.