Just Robin Oneshots pt 4

Distracted by a past so far behind

Bitterness was not an emotion Tim expected to feel when he noticed Dick and Jason getting closer. He expected to feel wistful, perhaps a little upset that they couldn't have the same relationship had Dick never been turned into a kid. He wanted to feel happy that there was someone who could understand what it was like to go through a giant time skip to the future. He wanted to be pleased when he saw Jason embrace being the eldest brother because it made seemed to make him happy for once. It was like it came naturally to him. However, as Tim watched Jason play tag with their now little brother, he couldn't help but feel bitter. Like he was missing out on something that he couldn't get back but everyone else could. Especially Jason.

When Jason came back, he was vengeful. He broke into Titan's Tower in his own Robin suit and beat Tim up without saying much more after it, leaving him broken in his home. Tim didn't think about that night often. It hurt, more than physically hurt, of course, to be beaten by someone you looked up to so much as a kid and he'd wondered why the hostility towards him was so bad but eventually, they figured out that the Lazarus Pit heightened the anger Jason felt and honestly, who would be in their right mind after coming back to life years after you died? It wasn't unheard of for the brothers to fight rather than roughhouse too so he filed it away as a bad experience that he wouldn't bring up and when Jason apologised for everything he did, not really naming any one particular incident, he guessed that would be the best he got and he was fine with that. You had to be when Bruce was your mentor and everyone around you was emotionally repressed in some way.

He truly hadn't thought about the incident but seeing Jason be so receptive to Dick now tugged that memory to the forefront of his mind. He would've loved it if Jason got to that level with him where they could act like real brothers rather than people who were loosely connected. He wished that he did more so now since Dick was no longer there to fill in that big brother role. It was still something he struggled with as much as he pretended he'd gotten over it all. He found himself texting Dick's number after having a bad day knowing there would be no reply and scrolling through their conversations to find advice that would make him feel better. He dreaded the day the number disconnected. Jason seemed to take all of this in his stride and it made the rest of them look awful for being so resistant to change. How could Jason, the person that beat him up just for wearing the costume after him, be so mellow with this change? How could he slip into the role of big brother so easily when he still berated Tim from time to time?

For some reason, it made him want to shatter the image Jason had made for himself and shine new light on just how broken this family was.

"Careful Dick, if he catches you, you'll be on bedrest for a month!" he shouted out, attempting to be taunting but coming off as bitter as he felt. The pair noticed the odd tone but Dick shrugged it off as a joke that sounded better in his head and continued their game. Jason however seemed to be stuck on it and stopped chasing after the acrobat. 

"Jay?" 

"You wanna do me a favour, Goldie?" he asked with a smile, covering up the worried look he'd had prior.

"I'm not planting a paint bomb in Dami's room again. You're lucky I got away with it last time."

"Not that, we agreed I've got the next one. Could you go to Alfred and get me a beer? He'll grab it but you can bring it to me. Saves his knees."