Tainted Me

Chapter 28: Time Go

I was in shock.

I was in disbelief.

But more than anything, I was hurt.

"It was you?" I demanded, failing to keep my voice even. "This whole fucking time, it was you?"

He didn't say anything. He only stared at me. He didn't even look sorry. In fact, he didn't show any emotion. It was as if he was just waiting for me to blow my shit. And I almost did.

I really almost did.

I came up to him, bumping the medic out of the way and getting to his face.

I wanted to scream.

I wanted to yell out profanities.

I wanted to shake him hard and beg him to tell me that it wasn't true.

But all I could do was sigh, my shoulders slumping in defeat and disappointment – and maybe a little heartbreak from the betrayal, too.

"Why?" was all I could manage to say.

With dead eyes, he answered, "You know why."

I knew those eyes. I used to see them in the mirror everyday. I was him. The difference was, I was able to crawl out of that hole.

He didn't.

He needed someone to blame.

In his eyes, that someone was me.

"O'neal, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Coach Sax said, going between us.

"Coach, he—" I started to say, but then I stopped.

How did I tell him that I was getting blackmailed by this motherfucker this past year for what happened in Florida? Where was the proof for my claims? We didn't report the break-in. I didn't report anything.

What was more, Holden was a Senator's son. I already knew how it was going to play out.

"He what?" Coach urged.

My jaw clenched. He was right there. I wanted to do something but this wasn't the time and place.

Fuck me.

"Nothing," I gritted out.

Coach stared at me, maybe trying to read my mind or some shit. But he seemed to give up because he just shook his head and waved a hand for me to go.

"Let's go, then. Second-half's almost over."

I looked at Holden. He met my stare.

"We're done," I said, low enough that only he could hear. With that, I followed Coach out of the infirmary and joined my teammates.

We had a game to win, and I'd rather win it without a traitor in the team.

*****

Holden vanished.

After winning the game, we went back to the locker room and he wasn't in the infirmary anymore. I didn't know what to think.

All this time, I wanted to hunt down the person who had been blackmailing me. But now that I knew who it was, I didn't know how to react.

What did I do next?

At the very least, I wanted to talk – and maybe get even on him attacking my girlfriend. Perhaps it was just me, but a good beating seemed fair.

But also... There was a part of me that was just done with all this. I was done with the violence, the hatred, and the darkness.

I just wanted to fucking move on.