Tainted Me

Chapter 19: Boston (past)

TRIGGER WARNING: Some scenes in this chapter contains very sensitive material. Self-harm is the main topic mentioned. If you feel uneasy and/or feel a change in your mood, please feel free to STOP READING immediately.

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THREE YEARS AGO

"We're beyond fucked if the truth gets out."

"No one will say shit."

"There's no video evidence."

"Just don't mention the fucking contest."

"We're getting shut down, anyway."

"This sucks. We're not the only house who do this."

I didn't say anything.

I just sat there in the chapter room of the fraternity house, and listened to my former brothers talk.

Someone innocent just died because of our stupid fucking tradition, and they were more worried if we'd get thrown in jail.

The University of Florida chapter of the Alpha Alpha fraternity was getting shut down indefinitely, which automatically made us 'former members.'

Seven of us who were there in the room that night got charged with involuntary manslaughter. Our defense attorney, provided by the brotherhood's alumni, advised us it would be best for everyone if we didn't mention the contest. He convinced us that it would help no one since it was an accident.

I kept my mouth shut because I wanted to believe it was an accident. It still ate me up inside.

"You okay, O'neal?"

I shrugged. "I'm still alive."

There was an eerie silence.

The oldest one of us cleared his throat and said, "I heard about the suspension. That sucks, bro."

I took a deep breath.

The university released a statement earlier this week that I was suspended from the team until they decided on what action was best to make. It made news everywhere, even ESPN kept talking about it. In everyone's eyes, I was that quarterback who got way in over his head and finally fucked up.

Boo-fucking-hoo.

As far as I was concerned, I was no longer part of the team. Never liked them, anyway.

"It is what it is," was my only reply.

"Do you think they'll still let you play in the future?"

"Don't know, don't care."

I was tired of this shit storm.

"Hang in there, man. The charges will be dropped soon. After that, we can all put this behind us."

I frowned. Mauri's family didn't seem the type to just give up. They looked determined to get justice.

"How much are we offering for settlement?"

"I told the lawyer that money is no matter as long as he makes all this go away."

"Nice."

"I can't wait for this to be over."

I just wanted this nightmare to fucking stop. I wanted to go far away where the nightmares wouldn't follow me.

* * * * *

I kept my eyes on the window, looking outside.

Oz just stood there, waiting for me to say something – anything. But I remained silent.