Second chances Book 6/6

Chapter 24

The gala went without incident. Julia and a few colleagues gave demonstrations of their talents, proving that it was not doubles who replaced them on the screen nor special effects. Julia, as heiress of Mary Stone, showed what she was worth on a wooden mannequin. Caity also demonstrated on a training dummy, apologizing for not giving it her all due to her pregnancy, but still giving herself so much more than she wanted to due to her inability to hold back once launched. The funds raised were used to organize numerous activities and school trips for the children. The event was covered by Wendy Turner, the reporter who befriended Holly and Caity, with Susan Whitlock personally thanking them for the exclusivity.

On her way home, Caity took a detour, going into the Malibu Hills, driving to her aunt, Kate's ranch, finding Kris tending to her horse. Walking with her, she went to one end of the land where there were two graves, that of Gibson, Kate's horse, with a photograph of him and Kate, and that of Fender, Kris' horse, with an inlay of him, Kris, Kate and Gibson. Caity liked to come and look at her photographs, Kate was so happy with Gibson, she regretted not having any livid memories of her, only seeing her in photographs or videos filmed by the family. Apart from the artist, she was a being of immense kindness, everyone agreed on that. Her mother first, never tired of telling her about their encounter. Caity enjoyed spending time here, in this place where time seemed to stand still, this temple in memory of Kate, Kris' great love.

"You're still looking for yourself, aren't you?" Kris asks, bringing her a glass of water under the pergola.

Caity didn't answer immediately, lost in thought. Kris had summed up in few words this feeling that had always gripped her.

"Yes," she admitted, a hand on her stomach. "I'm almost three months away, I have to change my life, but I don't know what I want. Living in this neighborhood, surrounded by family and neighbors, was like growing up in a bubble. I wanted to get out of it by settling in Hollywood and since then I've been looking for myself, Kris. I'm single, I'm looking for myself sexually. I feel like I don't have an identity. During the day, I dispense justice, I separate families, I save children, and at night, in the streets, I dispense another kind of justice, as some journalists were saying the other day. I'm lost, I don't like my life. I don't want my son to be born while I'm in this state.

"Hey, Caity. It's like Kate sang it. You want to exist, to find your place by yourself, not the one that society has chosen for you. You ask yourself a lot of questions about your sexuality, and it's normal, we adults are supposed to be your role models and look at us. Apart from your parents we are all gay. You only had one male model, and not the least, of course you designed a shell for yourself. You are the eldest of the children, you have made it your mission to protect them. That's where your innate sense of justice and your badass streak comes from. I've seen you grow up, you've always been strong, a go-getter, you've always tried to grow faster. I saw you with Abby, Bethany and Kara, always wanting more. There is in you a need to continually surpass yourself.

"Yeah, that's true," smiled Caity.

"You are a fantastic young woman. You grew up in a privileged family and maybe you don't see it, but you don't have to surpass yourself anymore, you did it. You are a famous lawyer, you saved lives in your work, at the police station, at your job... on the street. You are a magnificent fighter. There's only one thing left for you to do, and that's what Kate would say, live, love, and live. You will be a fantastic mom and I know that deep down you know it, you don't have to doubt it. Love will come to you, it's there, not far away, perhaps you have already met it. Whether it's a man or a woman doesn't matter, Caity, it's the heart that matters.

— Thanks Kris," she smiled, wiping away a tear, reaching out to take her friend's. "I like it when you talk about Kate, I wish I had known her so much.