The Founders

Chapter 67

Kyra whipped around immediately, wand raised and saw Alex standing there, hands in his pockets.

"Oh. Sorry. Habit." She turned back to face the water and he lowered himself to the ground beside her, the gravel crunching under his feet. He nudged his leg against hers and gave her a sidelong look.

"Kyra?"

"Yeah?"

"You can talk to me, you know."

She smiled faintly and nodded. "I know."

"Then tell me what's the matter." He paused, assessing his words. "I mean- specifically."

She continued watching the water lapping at her feet and said nothing for a moment. Her voice, when she finally spoke, was flat. "I killed one of my best friends. And I killed two people who were in so much pain. No matter how much I tell myself that I had no choice, that it saved people, I can't forgive myself for that."

She dropped her voice to a whisper. "I don't know how you can either, or Oscar and Grace. I don't see how you could want to be with someone like me."

She felt Alex reach out and brush hair from the side of her face. "How I could want to be with someone like you?" he asked incredulously. "Kyra, I don't just want someone like you, I want you. Only you. Because you're the kind of person who does something because it has to be done, and because no one else will do it.

"Because you're the strongest person that I know, and because that strength comes from how deeply you love other people and fight for them. Because you're selfless and brilliant and funny and caring and because there's no one else that I know that could have done what you did- could have looked death in the face and heard how their parents died, and instead of breaking under that pressure, kept fighting, because their own pain was worth it if it helped other people. Look-" he looked vaguely embarrassed for a moment. "Ut hora sic fugit vita."

Kyra laughed involuntarily, impatiently wiping her wrist across her eyes. "What?"

"Ut hora sic fugit vita. I looked it up," he said, his dimple showing as he refused to look at Kyra. "I just mean that, life is short, and that you can't spend your life regretting doing what was necessary, and what was right. I actually won't let you,"

-"You won't let me?" she laughed.

"-No, I won't let you," he said, jostling her shoulder with his own. "I'm not saying that this won't take a long time for you to process. Kat was- you're allowed to mourn her as a friend, separate from anything else. But what I'm saying is that I won't let you regret it, because that's just completely unfair. You saved a lot of people, Kyra."

"Aren't you angry at me?" she asked, her voice thick, picking up a rock and scraping it against her palm.

"Of course, I am," Alex said. Kyra dropped the rock in surprise as he continued. "You said we'd do it together. Instead, you're here all cut up with guilt over something that I should have done with you."

Kyra held eye contact with him for a moment before dropping her gaze down and picking the rock back up again.

Her nails and finger pads felt along the sharp edges, turning it over in her hands. "I'm sorry I didn't keep that promise. But if I had died...Gryffindor could have still killed the children from inside the chamber. And if he'd died, the magic levitating them would have gone, too. Without you, all those children would have died. How can I regret that?"

Alex held her gaze for a long moment, and then slowly nodded his head. "I know, Kyra. I don't regret it either. Just please don't ever make me feel that helpless again, alright?"