I'm Losing You, I'm Losing Me

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I'm trying hard not to breakdown,

and keep it from you.

My unseen tears won't roll down, yeah.

* Oh, I need you lovin' help, baby,

but we gotta give it some time.

I push myself away, but I keep on comin' back,

comin' back to hurt you,

I want to hurt you,

I want to hurt you no more.

Oh, no, no more.

John laughs hard after singing the last two lines. Tony, Caleb, and five other people are left in the studio.

"Another drunk song, Johnny? What's it called?" Tony asked.

"Hey, man. I ain't drunk. And second, I don't know have a title for it. It just came out of my mouth." John replied and Caleb joins in.

"Well, it sounds good, boss. Why don't you continue it?"

"Nah, I don't know how to finish it. Besides, I gotta go! Someone's waiting for me." John smiled at his co-workers and packed up his things. As he was walking down the parking lot, something vibrated in his pocket. He pulled his pager out and read the message,

Where are you? I'm already here.

Don't worry, I'm on my way.

He drove off with a big smile on his face. He knew he wasn't going to ruin this day after all.

It was special.

* * *

"Finally, you showed up!" Liz saw him enter the pet store.

"I'm sorry. Now, where is it?" John said.

"It's right here. Ma'am, can you take us around?" Then the cashier led the two of them to find the right puppy for Ava. The animals in the pet store are separated in labelled sections. They went in the dog section and the cashier let them look around. Finally, Liz saw the perfect puppy for their daughter.

"John, John, come here! Look!"

John came closer to the caged German Shepherd puppy. It looked at the two of them with soulful eyes and its tongue hanging out while its tail wagged.

"It likes the energy you bring, Mr. and Mrs. McGraw." The cashier said.

"We'll take this one, please." Liz answered.

* * *

"Ava! Ava, come out. It's dinner time." Mildred said at Ava's bedroom door.

"No! I don't wanna! Mommy and Daddy forgot about my birthday!" The child cried.

"At least let me in."

"M-magic words?"

"Please with cherries, sprinkles, and Nutella on top of strawberry whip cream?"

Just as Ava opened the door, a German Shepherd puppy came rushing into her and licked her face.

"Nanny! It's a puppy! Hello, puppy! What's your name? Where did you come from?"

"It came from us." John and Liz said by the door.

"Mommy! Daddy!"

"Happy sixth birthday, Ava!"

"But I thought - "

"No, we didn't, sweetie. Why would we forget it? Your dad and I love you very much."

Then John, Liz, and Mildred sang 'Happy Birthday' and Ava blew the candles out on her cake. After that, Liz went inside Ava's room and John asked Mildred to cut the cake. He followed Liz after.

"So, Ava. What are you going to name it?" He asked his daughter who was holding the puppy.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"It's a boy."

"Hmmm... I'm gonna call it... 'Chuckles'!"

"And why is that?" Liz asked.

"'Cause it was chuckling when it ran up to me!" Ava then put Chuckles on the floor and hugged her parents.

"You're the best Mommy and Daddy in the whole wide world! I love you!"

"We love you, too, sweetheart."

"And thanks for Chuckles. I promise I'll take good, good, good care of it. Like what Nanny does to me."

"You're welcome, Ava. We know you'll do well." Liz said.

* * *

The night ended with Chuckles sleeping beside Ava on her bed. Liz was drinking coffee on the table while John closed the child's bedroom door. They were both satisfied with what they did; making their daughter ecstatic. John walked towards the window while holding his beeper. He read the stored messages in it.

Happy sixth birthday to Ava, Johnny! I'll give her present tomorrow!

Happy birthday to Ava, boss! Hope she'll have a blast!

John, this is Mr. Bonneville. Happy birthday to your dearest daughter. I wish her all the best. Send my regards to your wife.

"Full pager, huh?" Liz said behind him.

"Yeah, even Mr. Bonneville sent me a message."

"That's great! Mine was full as well. Dr. George and Dr. Margaret Austway sent me a message, too."

"Good! So, how was your day?" John immediately said.

"Full operating room as always. How about you?"

"I made a drunk song today. I didn't finish it, though. It sucked." John and Liz both laughed.

It was the kind of laughter they both wanted to hear. It erased the atmosphere of isolation between them, but it wasn't enough.

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