Never should have happened

What I want

*Kate's POV*

By the end of the night, Brianna was tipsy and Meg was exhausted. It wasn't even ten o'clock and I was already exhausted. We'd spent the whole night laughing, mostly at my expense, but it was brilliant to see them again. We out Brianna into a can, there was no way I was going to let her drive home, not in her state. And Meg and I went to the park and sat on a bench. We had always had a special connection that nobody could really understand. But to be very honest, we didn't understand it either. I'd known her since year nine, when she moved schools and was in my Japanese class. Ever since, regardless of how much we were fighting or arguing, we always had each others back.

"Miss told the counsellors." I said through tears, I was sitting on the cold bathroom floor, and my face was buried in Meg's jumper. "It'll be okay big roo, I promise it'll be okay." She was rubbing my back, I knew that if I kept crying, soon she would start crying. We both loved to write poems, it was one of the reasons we had become friends. One of my teachers, she had taken my book, seen my poems, and told the counsellors I was suicidal. I had never been so confronted by my feelings before. I'd always thought that I was normal, and now, they were telling me that I had something wrong with me. That was scary. "I'm sorry Megu, I'm sorry." She laughed at me and lifted up my head so I could see her big cheesy smile. "You don't need to apologise for having emotions, for being a person or for being the perfect version of you that you are." My tears stopped and I started laughing as well. "Fondue." We both said in unison. Meg and I always said the cheesiest things to each other, we couldn't even help it anymore.

She took in a deep breath, and I knew she was preparing one of her speeches. "Love yourself and don't give up just yet, because although you may not see it..your future is truly magnificent in ways I don't even know. You have so many incredible qualifies that there's just endless possibilities for your path and you just can't see it yet." I smiled at her as she spoke, because even though I didn't believe her, I knew she truly believed what she was saying. "You're going to grow old and beautiful. You will have a very homely, comfortable house and a job you are fond of, that you enjoy. You will have a beautiful family and treasure every moment spent with them. You will have many amazing memories to look back on and many achievements and successes to be proud of." She stopped and I knew she was going to list more things that I had to look forward to. "And we will spend every moment together, and we will grow old, and everything will be great. One day, when my imaginary boyfriend becomes a reality, and he finally goes to propose, you will tell him what ring to buy, and when to propose to me." I laughed even harder, I knew I was never going to get married, but it made Meg feel better when I looked towards the future with a positive outlook. Maybe, just maybe, I might actually get married one day, and I wanted Meg to be there more than anything.

I was snapped back into reality, by Meg's voice. We were sitting on an old bench in the park and she was looking at me. "Kate? Hello? Are you paying attention?" "Sorry, I was in another time. What were you saying?" I questioned her, having no idea if she had already told me something multiple times. She sighed loudly, "I have to tell you something important, you aren't allowed to freak out, run away, yell or scream. You are not allowed to tell anyone else, because I was not supposed to tell you. Do you understand?" I nodded, slightly frightened of what she might say. The next five words that fell out of her mouth, I couldn't even comprehend. "Liam is going to propose."

I was frozen, I couldn't speak and breathing felt like such a painful and difficult task. My chest felt frozen, and my mouth was hinged open. I could feel a pain start to form in my jaw from keeping my mouth open for so long. She touched my should and I could feel it through out my whole body. "Kate?" She paused looking concerned, before laughing at me. "You should be happy, this is what you wanted isn't it?" I started to smile slightly as I closed my mouth. She was right, this is what I always wanted. I wanted to get married, and have children, and I wanted to enjoy my life with Liam. I had never really thought he would propose, or that Meg would be the one to tell me he wanted to get married.

"When? What? Where?" I couldn't even form proper sentences but I knew she would understand what I meant. "He asked me to plan it all, because he knew that I would be able to find out what you'd want without telling you. But after the stuff you were saying to Brianna I felt like I had to tell you." She spoke calmly and smoothly, as if each word was a note of a song. "So, what do you want Kate? When do you want him to propose? What ring do you want?" There was so many questions, I couldn't begin to decide on anything. I had never thought I would be asked to plan my engagement, or that I would ever be proposed to at all. I just stared into Meg's eyes, as I had done so many times before, when I couldn't look forward to the future, when I couldn't even understand my emotions. She stared back at me, seemingly ready my mind, always knowing what I was thinking. She gave me a hug, and buried her head into my shirt. She was still tiny and could fit in my arms so easily. We just sat there, her leaning her head against me, and my arms wrapped around her. We must have sat there for over ten minutes, but it felt like hours.

She sat back and looked at me. "Do you want him to propose?" I sat there, turned to the stars and thought so much. I loved him, more than I'd ever loved anyone, well except my family. He was my perfect other half, he calmed me down when I was stressed, and helped me find a balance in my life. He had changed my life in so many ways, so many positive ways. He taught me to love myself, and he loved every part of me. "I...I..I.. Do. I want to marry him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him." Saying those words felt like taking a weight off my shoulders. Meg smiled at me. And I smiled back. I was going to marry Liam, and our life would be perfect. Just like I'd always hoped.