Make you mine

IV

CHOICE

In a place where I convince myself that I'm already content, there's still this caged voice inside my head that I silenced, because I chose to settle. Where in fact, it screams that there's something better out there, something I've been searching for -one thing close to a dream that I've always wanted. I just need to find the key to free that voice. I want it freed.

Nothing is more tragic when the intense pain you've been enduring for a long time has turned into subtle numbness. And as each day makes way, hope will seem to gradually extinguish until you forget how happiness feels like.

Your dead soul will roam the world. Unsurprisingly, you'll feel lost and empty.

I can be someone you miss
But you can't no longer have.

I can be your lesson
Buried in your heart.

I can be someone you hope for
But not someone you expect to be.

I can be your thorn
But not your rose

-for some people
Is not meant to be

And it happened that I'm the sail
But will never be your destination.

A thousands of why's
But the answer is few,
Life is still a mystery
And some days feels so new.

We started to wonder
When did the questions builds up,
Seems like the stairs will take forever
And it looks blurry to stop.

But we live today
With the hopes for tomorrow,
Thinking that the next day
We'll find answers for our sorrow.

We plan ahead
But beat up by the facts,
We sometimes believe in predictions
Yet we got trouble to act.

- still, it's amazing
How people fights back,
It's beautiful to see you here fighting
Despite the road is pitch black.

Even clouds pours it's pain
Whenever it's heavy it will rain
But why can't some people do?

Even roses was love with it's thorns
Treasured when it's dried in ruins
But why can't some people do?

Even ocean being explored in adore
Jump the danger, runs into the shore
But why can't some people do?

Even mountains was climbed with sweat
To see the view of sunrise and sunset
But why can't some people do?

Do love needs to bleed ?
Be sacrificed for greed?
Does someone needs to be hurt

- just to know love is there?

When I was a child I always look at the night sky, wishing to the falling stars thinking it will be granted, but as I grow up age by age I learned that I'm wishing to a dead star. I ask myself, ' will a dead star will grant my wish if it's already dead?'. A fantasy which my little mind believed and I wish my thinking stays the way it is before 'cause maybe, life will not be hard as is it today. The frustrations is swallowing me whole that leads me to overthinking, before I wish to a falling star but now I took a deep breath as I look at them in the night sky, my wish will not be granted anyway - so I'd rather risk my last drip of hope for tomorrows sunrise.

"I will give you both 7 months to know your thoughts about the marriage" saad ni papa niya.

"Kaylangan niyo magsama bago ang kasal niyo para naman makilala niyo maigi ang isat isa" saad ni dad

7 months lang binigay samin para masiguro ang kasal.

Kaylangan kong gumawa ng paraan para di na matuloy yung kasal namin.
Ayoko maging parte ng buhay niya.
Ayoko maging asawa niya.
Ayoko siya makasama.