The Story of Me and T - A Tanner Buchanan Fanfic

'She'

*Tanner*

The second our eyes made contact; her body language completely changed. She was shocked to see me, but more so terrified. All I could see were pretty, tired, scared blue eyes on a gaunt and restless face that I couldn't bring myself to look away from. But as my eye-line fleetingly descended, profound shock snatched the air from my lungs and the floor from beneath me. I didn't realise I'd fallen until I felt a hard surface catch me.

'No, no no. This can't be happening' I cried, sliding down the wall to the floor for support and holding my head in my hands. Shaking in devastation that the person I loved more than anything would be capable of hurting me so badly. But the dynamic took a turn, shock and hurt very quickly became rage with the realization that I was going to be a father and she didn't fucking tell me!

'You fucking bitch' I yelled, loud, but didn't give a fuck.

'Tanner please, calm down. Please let me explain'.

'Explain what, Grace?! I don't want to hear it How could you do this to me?' I pleaded through a flood of tears, crying hysterically.

'I did it for you Tanner' she said gently edging towards me.

'Don't you fucking dare say that to me'.

'You had a life to live, Tanner. This would have ruined that'.

'It wasn't your decision to make! This isn't a joke. Why, Grace. Why?' I pleaded some more. Truly devastated that I been so badly betrayed, that I'd missed so much.

'I'm sorry Tanner, I really am sorry' she said finally, giving in to the tears that she'd been fighting so hard to hold in. Good!

'Sorry is what you say after an argument, or a one night stand. Not after hiding my baby from me. My fucking baby, Grace!'

I loved her so much, but the hate I also had for her was currently unparalleled. I really fucking hated her. I was glad she was crying I wanted her to hurt and feel a fraction of the pain I was in. I'd never felt a burn so bad and so deep.

I stared unsympathetically into her eyes holding emotionless contact so that she understood how badly she'd fucked up, but she looked away out of shame. She knew she was wrong. The fucking bitch knew it. Without eye contact, I couldn't help but look at the transformation before me. It would have been so good to watch the change happen gradually. The bump that replaced a once flat surface had me transfixed and another wave of raw emotion hit me all over again.

'Tanner' she spoke, quivering. Although the tears had stopped, she was still cut up and I was glad. But she started to breathe methodically, making me realise that whatever she was going through had less to do with her guilt towards me and more to do with something she was feeling physically.

'Tanner? Can you help me please' She asked, almost silently in between her heavy breathing. Tired, sad eyes were now anxious. The colour washed from her face as pure dread consumed her. I was so angry, but something primal kicked in and had me up and by her side in milliseconds. All I could think about was the baby.

'What is it?' I said, reaching out to hold her as she collapsed on me. Squeezing her eyes shut in pain.

'Grace, what it is? Mary?' I yelled in panic knowing she was around. Momentarily she was with us.

'What the fuck is happening, Mary? I need some information, I'm totally in the dark here'

'She was having tightening's all morning, but they stopped a couple of hours ago, so we thought they were just Braxton Hicks'

'English Mary' I shouted in frustration. I didn't have a fucking clue what she was telling me plus I was struggling to hold (and protect), Grace who was clinging on to me.

'We thought it was a false alarm'.

'Alarm for what?'

'For delivery, Tanner. We though that maybe she was going into early labour'

In an instant I knew what I had to do. I put my arm around her trying slowly to move her. It was at this point that I realised there was blood...

'Call Emma and tell her to meet us at the hospital'

'She's away on an Emergency, Tanner. That's why I'm here'

'Fine, we don't need her anyway' I spat out' Trying to ignore the fact that Mary was called to the rescue before me, trying more to ignore the pool of blood that was beginning to grow.

'Oh my god, Tanner' She said in shock once she'd noticed it too. She took a moment for composure and continued.

'You stay with her, and I'll go get the car'.

'I got this'. I said, cutting her off quickly.

'Tanner, come on. Let me drive, you're hysterical'.

'Not a fucking chance. This is my responsibility. Mine! I'm here now and no one is gonna take anymore away from me than I've already lost. Come on baby' I said, changing my focus to Grace. 'We need to get to the hospital, can you stand'? I asked, wiping fresh tears away from her eyes, ignoring mine as they continued to fall leaving a sting in their wake.

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London roads, although better than the ones in LA, were pretty shitty. Cutting in and out of traffic, on the wrong side of the road trying to focus through the tears of anguish and get us to the hospital was becoming too much for me to handle. Almost, too much until the thought of the baby passed through my mind and helped me get my shit together.

'Grace, baby what do I need to know. Is this normal? This isn't normal, is it?' I said, answering my own damn question.

'I've been monitored every other day for the past two weeks because she's a bit small. But otherwise, she's healthy. I've had a few health issues but thought I was over it. I really can't understand the blood, Tanner'

It was a loaded sentence. I was immediately worried about Grace's health issues, but I couldn't shake one little word..

'She?' I asked, barely. On the edge of breaking all over again.

'Yes, Tanner. She. It's a girl' she said looking over to me and for the quickest moment all the shit was replaced by split second of joy. It was a girl. Grace was hit by another wave of pain, which we assumed, and hoped, were contractions, and she went silent. She dropped her head and didn't make a single fucking sound.

'What is it? Grace?' I shouted fighting the urge to turn and face her. Desperately trying to stay strong and keep my focus on the road ahead.

'It hurts Tanner. You asked me if this is normal. It's not and I'm really scared'