The Story of Me and T - A Tanner Buchanan Fanfic

'Baby'

*Tanner*

I pulled up outside the building and raced over to get Grace. She was in so much pain, she could barely walk, so I carried her and left Mary to park the car.

Once we were on the ward, everything became a complete blur of chaos. Doctors running in and out telling me that they needed to prep Grace for emergency surgery. Spitting medical jargon, expecting me to know and understand what was happening. Asking me questions that I didn't fucking know the answers to. 'When is the baby's due date? Where are Grace's notes? When was the last time she'd eaten to avoid complications with the anaesthetic?'

'She hasn't eaten since midday, and here are her notes' Mary said handing over a green folder, saving me from despair.

'It says here that Miss Mary Mouser is her birthing partner. Is that you?' The doctor asked, ignoring me as he spoke to Mary. Before I let myself get frustrated, I laid Grace into the hospital bed and held her hands to reassure her that everything would be fine. She'd been so quiet up to this point but had reached her limit. She was crying, crippled by pain, and I felt the most useless I'd ever felt in my entire life.

'Yes, that's me, but actually, I think that Tanner should be in there with Grace'.

'And, respectfully who is Tanner?'

'Tanner is....'

'The father' I said, accepting responsibility. Not taking my eyes of Grace. She smiled and spoke 'I'm so sorry, T' trying to focus through the pain.

'Stop baby, I'm here now, and we got a big job to do. Well, you do. But I'll be with you'.

'Tanner, I'm gonna go back to the house. We left in such a hurry that I didn't bring my stuff, and I should really call Emma and tell her what's happening' I heard Mary say, from behind us. 'Unless you want to?' She added treading on eggshells, worried she'd overstep the mark.

'It's fine Mary, you call Emma.' I answered. Still focusing on Grace.

'Mary' I called out quickly before she had the chance to leave.

'Thanks for taking care of her' I added. she smiled and thankfully, we were good again.

'Keep me posted and call me If you need anything. Good luck you two' she said after kissing Grace and giving her a gentle squeeze. 'You got this' She added before slipping out the door.

Almost immediately we were moved into theatre, and I was given scrubs to change into while Grace was being prepped. I tried to stay calm despite the sensory overload of the glaring hospital, bright lights, the nasty hospital smell, which I hated, the sounds of chat, random hospital beeping, and the feel of my fucking phone that wouldn't stop vibrating in my pocket. Which compared to everything else just seemed so trivial.

'Grace, you'll start to feel a little lightheaded. Don't fight, just roll with it and try to sleep' the anaesthetist said whilst putting in the IV. She gently nodded her head, accepting the requested and turned to face me.

'Tanner, you need to promise me something'.

'Baby' I stopped her immediately. Judging by her tone, I knew where she was heading and didn't want to hear it.

'Promise me that whatever happens, you'll take care of her' She continued, ignoring my protest

'Baby, you and her are the most important thing in my life' I said holding her face in my hands, looking her deep in the eyes, so that she could see how sincere I was

'I promise to always take care of you both' I said finally with a soft kiss on her mouth. Calm fell between us, and she was fast asleep.

It all happened too quickly. In seconds the baby was out.  I kept my eyes on Grace, watching as she laid peacefully unaware of the madness happening around her.

'What a perfect and healthy little girl' I heard. An amazingly reassuring sound, but I couldn't take my eyes off Grace, until I had to because a tiny human was being thrown into my arms. My nerves were already wrecked, but my heart started beating rapidly in anticipation of meeting my daughter for the first time. A tiny glimpsed had me floored, I 'd never experienced this feeling before, but knew it was one that I'd never forget. I looked over her perfect face and features and my heart swelled with an indescribable kind of love. I reached down to gently stroke her cheek, and a new set of tears began to well up in my tired eyes. In this moment, I knew that nothing else in the world mattered. I was a father, and my life would never be the same again. Everything else just seemed to melt away. I held on to her tightly, promising to love and cherish her forever. She was the most perfect thing I'd ever seen, even wrapped in this hideous green, hospital blanket. I could have stared for hours but thought of Grace and how unfair it was that she couldn't see and feel what I was seeing, feeling. Surely she'd be waking up soon?

'Where are you taking her?' I said, as I noticed the nurses begin to wheel the bed out the door.

'Mr Buchanan. The past few hours have left some damage that we need to repair immediately. We tried to tell you, but you were otherwise occupied' he said referring to my moment with baby.

'Is it serious?'

'It's unlikely. But we won't know for sure until we take a proper look. In the meantime, the midwife has set up a room for you and your daughter. Try not worry, use the time to get to know your baby. She's a cutie'

Minutes later the room cleared, and I was alone. I absentmindedly looked around the space which resembled a crime scene. There were surgical instruments everywhere, blankets and towels covered in blood. But it was quiet and calm, and the complete opposite of how I felt. The events of the hour hit me like a bus, and I lost it. Full on violently crying which jarred baby. I wasn't allowed to lose it, because it wasn't about me anymore.

I took a moment and realised that I wasn't actually alone. I was with my daughter and somehow, we'd help each other through whatever life would bring. But although I was feeling slightly more optimistic, I couldn't control my body that kept shaking, and the non-stop tears that kept on coming. The vibration from my phone was a welcome distraction, a glimpse of normality. I moved gently to try and get it without disturbing baby too much. She was asleep and better for it. For now.

It was a FaceTime call from my mom. It must have been her that was relentlessly trying to reach me earlier. I told her I was flying and that I'd call her once I arrived in London, which I didn't. She was worried for her child, and for the first time ever I understood how she felt. Without thinking about the consequences I answered the call.

'Tanner' She started with that tone, as though she was about the lay down the law. But once she looked at the picture before her, she paused.

'Tanner. Why are you crying? Are you at the hospital? What's happened?' To try and explain, I lowered the phone to show her baby.

'Tanner?' she asked as tears started to form. 'Whose baby is that?' She asked even though she must have known. This baby, was the double of me at this age.

'Tanner. Please talk to me' she begged. This time full on tears started falling, mirroring the speed and intensity of my own. She had a granddaughter and now was as good a time as any to let her know.

'She's mine mom. She's mine'