The Story of Me and T - A Tanner Buchanan Fanfic

'Amazing, Grace'

*Grace*

I couldn't sleep or even relax. He was coming on to me, and not even trying to hide it. Don't get me wrong, obviously it was welcomed feeling. I mean it was pretty clear in my mind, from the second he showed up drenched on my doorstep, how I felt about him, judging by the sexual fantasies that seemed to have spiralled out of control of late. But since when the fuck did Tanner, my Tanner, my 'friend zone' Tanner start feeling this way about me? I always thought he saw himself as my protector, like a big brother. Never as a lover, yet here I was, in his bed with the image of him, only five minutes ago not being able to get his tongue down my throat and his hands on my arse fast enough. 'you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this' he said. Was he serious? Was it the fault of too much alcohol? Perhaps he didn't mean it and he'll wake up feeling like a fool about it tomorrow. But then there was 'Grace please, I need to be with you' He seemed so sincere and sober and not like he was being controlled by beer at all. This was confusing. This backwards and forwards was killing me and on top of it all, my cruel mind was tormenting me with images of what we could be doing if we didn't stop.

I'd thought about this very moment for so long. Now that it was here, I had this overwhelming need to go and get it done. Finish what he started. I was stuck not knowing which way to turn, so I did the very same thing I did whenever I needed help. I text my best friend.

Me: Are you up?x

Tanner: why aren't you sleeping, Grace? It's late

Me: I'll take that as a yes then x

Tanner: Go to sleep.

Me: What no 'x'? Since when you don't leave me a kiss when you text me? x

Tanner: ...

Me: I really need some advice x

Tanner: 🙄 Go on...

Me: There's this guy..

Tanner: Grace

Me: Let me finish!! There's this guy, that I've actually liked for a long time. Turns out he likes me too. But I'm scared..

I said it. I finally said it. I couldn't believe that after all this time the cards were finally on the table and that he felt the same. I hoped and prayed that me confessing would help to alleviate some of the tension from earlier. I waited and waited for his response, but nothing came. I checked over my text to make sure I was clear, or if I'd made some sort of type error that would elicit this silence from him.  Maybe it was my comment on being scared I pondered..

Me: when you're friends with someone. I mean best friends, your guaranteed to stay in each other's lives forever. Relationships, sex specifically, confuses things. Makes it messy. And I'm scared of crossing a line that me and my friend can't get back from. Even though I really, really want to...

Me: this guy, he means so much to me that I'm scared of losing him..

I explained myself, and pretty well I thought, but the silence remained. He was seriously killing me here. Just as I began plotting some witty texts to repair my pride, the bedroom door slowly opened, and there he was, like I'd never seen him before. Naked from the waist up, which wasn't new, but the look in his eyes. it was different. He was a bit dazed. Standing right in front of me, but not quite present as though his mind was somewhere far, far away.

We both remained still for a while, frozen to our core, fighting this crazy energy threatening to pull us crashing together. I wanted to close the distance between us but was unable to make the next move, shit scared that I'd make the wrong one.