Heart's desire

1

Syra POV:

Staring up at the ceiling I notice that we have a lot of unnecessary lights. We don't even open all of them so why have them. So unnecessary. Actually there's a lot of unnecessary things in this palace. Me for example. I could disappear and it wouldn't change a thing in anyone's life. It's like I'm a decorative piece here that just moves on orders. Syra do this. Syra do that.

"Syra beta sit up and eat your food, it's disrespectful" I hear Ma say.

Focusing back into reality I look down at my food. Zarda pulao, one of my favorites but I can't seem to find the appetite when I'm about to make one of my big escapes soon.

"Eat before Ma yells at you in front of everyone" my sister, Sahar says from beside me.
"I can't eat, my stomach hurts for some reason" I make an excuse.
"Don't tell me, you're making an escape again" my other sister, Saima says from the other side.

Saima is a year older than me and just got married a year ago to a close relative. Zaid. He's a nice guy but it's arranged and I want to fall in love not marry a random guy that I barely know. That's impossible though, especially when Dadi is the one that makes the majority of the decisions in everyone's lives. On the other hand Sahar is 19 and lucky she has me, who has to listen to all the rishta talk. I swear the only reason I'll get married is so she can finally be tortured too.

"No are you dumb I'm not escaping" I say trying to act calm.
"Yeah you better not, especially not after what happened last time" Saima says
"Oh my god yeah that was hilarious. You really thought you could fit through that hole in the wall. Maybe next time eat less and you might be able to slide right through" Sahar says laughing.
"Shut up. I could definitely fit, I just forgot to take my phone so I was crawling back" I lie
"Yeah sure" Sahar says rolling her eyes.
"Syra look at me. You better not even think about it" Saima says giving me a pointed look.
"I won't" I say trying not to meet her eyes.

Okay so what I'm a horrible liar and also a horrible escaper but this time I will succeed.

Dinner is over and I quickly go to my room and wait for everyone to go to sleep. As I wait I rethink my amazing master plan to escape and run it through my mind.

Tik Tik Tik I stare at the clock as time seems to be going slower than usual.
"Come on stupid time go faster" I say to myself.

I'm not running away. Just miss the outside world and honestly forgot how it feels like to be free. You might be lost, but let me explain it. I haven't left the palace gates since I was 14. Every since then I'm not allowed to leave and honestly I don't know why we're not allowed to. All the guys go so why can't the girls. I will never understand the misogynistic thinking that people have. Especially when Dadi makes most decisions and she's a girl. But whatever I have decided to make it my goal to escape and see the world outside of these palace gates. I just want to experience it for a bit and come back before everyone wakes up.

"Annnddd it's time" I say a little to loudly.
Grabbing my phone I jump out the window landing on my butt.
"Ow" I say out loud and immediately smack my hand on my mouth to shut myself up.
Opening my flash I make my way towards the wall.
I could hear the crickets chirping loudly and the guards having conversation from far away. Quickly making my way to the wall I hear something move behind me.
Stopping instantly in my tracks I slowly turn my head to look behind in hopes there's no ghost there.
I see darkness behind me and all around me except for the light that comes from my flashlight.
"Okay right now is not the time to be scared Syra. Be brave" I whisper to myself.

Getting to the wall, I stare up at how tall it is.
Who even made this damn wall. It's like they wanted to trap us inside.
"This would be helpful if I had someone to help push me up" I say annoyed.
I attempt to jump but barely reach the top of the wall. Why did god have to give me my moms genes. Can't do anything with this height I swear.

Okay next method. I take a head start and decide to run this time and then jump so I can jump higher. This results in me hitting the wall hard and falling back.
"Okay not a smart idea" I groan.
Looking around I search for a box or something to stand on. My eyes catch the sight of a blue large barrel. Perfect.

"Yes yes yes" I whisper happily which makes the barrel shake a little and makes my breath caught in my lungs.
"Oh god I almost died" whispering again. Don't ask why I speak to myself a lot. I just do.
Putting my right leg over the wall I try to climb my body over and almost succeeding until someone clearing their throat makes me freeze.
"Shit. I'm so dead. They're gonna get me married off to some old man that's blind and can't even walk and you're gonna suffer your whole life. It's over there's no living for you. I didn't even get to fall in love. I still have so much to see and to love more. Omg I'm gonna- " I rant to myself still half hanging form the wall until someone interrupts me.
"Are you talking to yourself" I hear a deep man's voice.
Huh. That doesn't sound like someone I know.
Closing my eyes I slowly open them to look at who caught me.
I see a tall man's figure but can't see the face properly.
Remembering I have a flashlight I face it towards the tall figure in attempt to see who caught me and ruined my plan.
The light of the flashlight shines bright onto the face as the facial features appear in sight.
My eyes trail over the man's face and body. Starting from his dark brown hair that slightly fall on his forehead. He has a beard that makes him look older and beautiful brown eyes. He moves his hand to fix the hair and my eyes focus on his hand in the process. Huh. Muscles.
Observing his outfit, he's wearing a dark brown simple kurta. That means he's not a guard.
He looks very familiar. His eyes look like-
OH MY GOD.
No it can't be. There's no way. He left, why would he come back. A million thoughts ran through my mind.
"Are you going to talk or just stare at me like you saw a ghost" he says
"Um i um who are you" I say in hope it's not who I think it is.
"You know very well who I am" he says smirking
"Haider" I ask quietly.
"Yes Syra" he says smirking at me again.
"But you, you left" I say
"Well I'm back and apparently the first thing I see is you horribly attempting to get over the wall" he says gesturing to me.
Realizing I'm still half hanging from the wall I put my feet down and glare at him.
"Go away and act like you didn't see me" I huff at him.
"Well I did see you so I can't act like I didn't" he says in a duh tone
"No duh idiot I said "act" for a reason" I say with the same tone back at him.
"Don't act smart with me" he says
"Why don't you just leave like you did before and pretend like I don't exist" I say. I know low blow but I'm mad.
"Come on still mad at me for that. It was such a long time ago" he says rolling his eyes.
"I don't care leave I'm busy anyway" I say as I continue to climb over the wall.
"Why don't I just call your parents or better idea let me call Dadi out here" he says
"You wouldn't dare" I say tuning my head to glare at him.
He's joking right he won't do that.
He walks backwards and starts to retreat and go towards the palace.
"Waitttt" I quickly jump off the barrel and run towards him.
I bring my hand to his mouth and stand on my tippy toes to his height. Which makes me realize he's still a lot taller than me.
"I'm going inside please don't say anything" I plead him.
I stare into his eyes and see a swirl of emotion but it disappears.
"I'll deal with you tomorrow. IF you don't leave again" I say making sure to leave the petty comment at the end.
What. Can't blame me, he deserves it.

Turning around I leave the one person in my life that I had expectations from. Never again. He taught me a lot and because of him I lost a lot.