Heart's desire

11

Syra POV

I woke up to the sound of my alarm blasting through the speakers of my phone, signaling for a horrible day to begin. The sunlight hits my face as I roll over to my side. I know I should get up, but I'm not ready to face today.

As my mind wakes up, I think about all the possible outcomes of today and how the mehendi will go. I usually love mehendi's, it's my favorite from all the events. The dances, music, feeding the bride sweets, and taking lots of pictures, it's all perfect. But this, this doesn't feel right. I'm scared to face everyone, I'm scared to put on a fake smile and show everyone that I'm happy when in reality I want nothing more than to runaway from all this.

I wakeup from my sleep, not realizing that I had fallen asleep once again. My head turns to my door where loud banging was present. No wonder I woke up, the sound seemed to be getting louder every minute.

"Syra I swear if you don't open this door right now I'm going to break the door" I hear an angry Saima from the other side of the door.

"Are you sure she's not dead, cause she would've answered by now" Another voice says, which I recognize it to be Sahars.

"I wish I was, that way I didn't have to hear your annoying voice and if someone doesn't open the door after two knocks it means they don't want to open the door. SO DON'T BANG ON MY DOOR NEXT TIME" I say

"We get it you're cranky" Sahar says rolling her eyes and pushing her way into the room.

"Did I say you could come in" I say

"Didn't need your permission" she says

"Last time I checked this was my room, was it not" I say

"Oh really couldn't tell" she says

"YOU GUYS STOP ARGUING, Syra we came cause Ma asked us to tell you that the mehendi wali(henna artist) is coming to do yours in a few minutes" Saima says.

"Tell Ma that I don't want to put henna on, so she can tell her not to come" I say to Saima.

"You can go tell Ma yourself, I don't want to get in the middle of this" she says.

"Oh wow thanks for being a great older sister" I say

"Syra if you're going through with this wedding then go through with all of it not just the nikkah. If not go to Ma and tell her yourself. We've had this conversation before but if you decide to say no I will be with you, but you need to make the first step and actually tell Ma, otherwise I can't do anything" she says.

"You don't understand I can't. Everyone knows and I know Ma she will never approve. She'll force me with him" I say pushing them out my room.

"She can't force you if I'm there. You just need to say something first and I'll handle the rest" she says giving me a hug.

"I'm sorry for being rude" Sahar says also enrolling me in her smalls arms.

"Me too" I say returning her hug back.

I know I shouldn't have gotten mad but that's the only thing I can do, because I hate myself for going through with it. I'm mad at so many things, Ma, Baba, Dadi, and Haider. The way he walked of angrily last night has gotten me confused. Why did he do that. Too many thought in my head and not a single one makes sense. I can't believe things are going this fast. I feel like i don't even have time to breathe, everything keeps happening one by one. I just need time to stop for just a second.

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I'm sitting on a chair with a great deal of people crowding me. All laughing and clapping to the music. One by one they come up to me to feed me sweets and congratulate me.