Worth sinning for(Salvis)

Travis Phelps is a fucking faggot

(travis)

When I wake up, Sal is lying next to me still asleep. I can't help but stare because he never lets me see his face. He's so beautiful. Still half asleep i pull the blanket off me and my face goes red as i remember I'm naked. I quickly pull the blanket back over myself.

I can't believe we did that. I can't help but smile as I feel around the floor for my underwear. I grab it and slide it under the covers. I get out from under the covers to find an outfit. I put on sals shirt, it smells like him, and my own pants. I need to get new clothes. Sal starts to stir in bed flipping around and rubbing his eyes. When he sees me he smiles.

"Good morning" I say leaning in and kissing him before grabbing some clothes out of the dresser and throwing them at him.

"Get dresses I wanna go on a walk" I say and he rolls his eyes before putting on some clothes.

"Why do we have to go so early?" he asks, sliding on his shoes, clearly someone is still tired.

"Force of habit, on the weekends I would be stuck with my dad all day so on Saturday and Sunday morning I'd go on a long walk to stay away from him as much as possible," Sal shrugs, securing his prosthetic on.

When we get outside the weather is perfect, not hot, not cold. I grab sals hand as we walk. I don't care who knows im gay anymore, it doesn't bring me shame like it used to. Shocked by this, Sal looks up at me and smiles. We walked about a quarter mile before coming up to a streetlight. On the base of it where people put lost dog posters there's a new one, with my face, I stop walking just staring at the poster.

"Travis Phelps is a fucking faggot" is what the title says with a picture of my face, but whats next to the picture of me is worse. It's a picture of me unconscious, my shirt lifted so you can see the words scattered onto my body like "homo" and "sinner" ect.. Beside those cuts you can see my self inflicted cuts. I feel ashamed. Underneath the pictures it says "he betrayed god and this is what he got '' followed by the church's phone number and telling you to find god before you turn out like me. Sal rips it off the pole.

"I cant believe he'd put pictures of you like this up, i mean it's borderline child porn" he says gripping the piece of paper angrily in his hands. He rips it in half and stuff it in his back pocket. I look around and realize they're everywhere. I can't move, I can't talk, I can't do anything. My heart speeds up and breathing becomes difficult. It feels like I'm being suffocated.

"Travis are you okay? '' Sal says rushing over to me but all I can say is no before sitting on the grass trying to catch my breath. This is my worst fear. People know what my body looks like, knowing I have those scars. I feel disgusted in myself.

"I cant breathe '' I manage to say between breaths sals eyes dart all around almost as if he's physically looking for what's wrong. After a few seconds his eyes focus back on me.

"I think you're having an anxiety attack, I used to get them all the time," he says sitting next to me.

"Just breathe" he says, grabbing my hand. I'm instantly comforted but I still feel like I'm going to explode.

"Everybody knows" I whisper and Sal turns to me. He lifts his sweater revealing healed scars that line his arms. My heart skips a beat, i had never noticed, he always wore long sleeves under his T-shirts, i'm a terrible boyfriend.

"I used to cut too," he says, rolling his sleeve back down. And grabbing my hand in his. I can start to breathe again and my mind begins to slow.

"After the accident with my mother I had a lot of self hatred, it was the worst when I was in middle school. I blamed myself, what your dad did to you is not your fault." he says putting a hand on my face.i can tell he's smiling by the look in his eyes.

"I cut myself to feel somthing, to punish myself for what happened, dont punish yourself travis" he says standing up and looking around.

"I think we should go home," He says, pulling me up off the ground.

(sal)

I can't believe Kenneth would do something like that. I know he's a terrible person but Travis always said he liked to keep the abuse hidden. I mean in the picture Travis is half naked, his bottom half only covered by a blanket. I just get increasingly angry the more I think about it.

When we get back to the apartments my dad is sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal watching some TV show I don't know.

"Hey guys how was your walk? '' I don't say anything and sit on the couch next to him, Travis sits on the other side of me. I pull the ripped up flier from my pocket and hand it to my dad. His eyes quickly scan the words and when he focuses on the picture his eyebrows furrow.

"Why would they put this out, is it just this one?" my dad asks Travis, shaking his head, beginning to cry. I wrap my arms around him. My dad gets up and goes over to the phone. I don't know who he's calling but it can't be good.

"Hello may i speak to father phelps" he says still staring at the terrible piece of paper now sitting on the counter. A few seconds pass before my dad speaks again.

"Hello father, I would like to talk with you about some disturbing flyers for your church that my son and his boyfriend have found around town, '' he says. I can hear Kenneth's voice over the phone begging to sound angry. Trvais pushes himself out of my arms and now we're both staring at my dad waiting to see what he says next.

"Why of course i will tell you what's upsetting, there is a graphic image of my son's boyfriend on the poster where he's mostly naked by the way, this is borderline child porn and i am not so pleased with the blatant and raging homophobia written all over it." my dad says in a calm voice. Travis looks at me, eyes full of worry and shock.

"Honestly i dont understand why you have problem with gay people i mean do the gays personaly affect you in any way shape or form?" my dad asks in a petty tone. That's where I got my attitude from. We can now hear Travis's dad screaming on the phone.

"Okay well i'm just asking you to please take ALL the posters down or else i will proceed with legal action" he says before hanging up the phone. He just totally lied there is no way we are seeking legal action, he just wants to scare them. It gives Travis peace of mind though and that's all that matters at this moment in time. 

A/N- fun title i know :)