Paghilom: A Short Story

Paghilom III: Salamisim

Ardhen's POV

Umalis si Dahlia nang hindi man lang ako pinapakinggan.

I wanted to tell her the truth but I was too weak to do it.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko kayang makita ang mukha niya dahil naalala ko ang bagay na pinagsisihan ko rin kaagad.

We're in our last year of high school. At that time, I was one of the potential valedictorians in our batch.

She's the inspiration that I needed. She's like a ray of sunshine that was given to make my days brighter.

Our relationship is not that perfect but I can say that it was going smoothly.

Being one of the smartest students in school is not that easy.

I have to risk anything, everything... Including my relationship with her.

Kasalanan ko iyon, basta ko lang siya hiniwalayan nang wala man lang ibinibigay na sapat na dahilan.

I admit that I was too indecisive. I broke up with her without thinking carefully.

I was pressured by my parents.

They have high hopes when it comes to my achievements.

Hindi ko alam kung kaya kong abutin lahat ng expectations na naibigay sa akin noong mga panahong iyon.

Dahlia became my inspiration but I was afraid of the idea that I might fail and she'll be blamed in everything I do.

I don't want them to think that Dahlia is the reason for my downfall.

I want to fail alone.

So I tried to get her out of the picture by breaking up with her.

Wala akong mailatag na paliwanag dahil hindi ko naman talaga ginustong makipaghiwalay.

Habang naglalakad ako palayo sa kanya, ipinangako ko sa sarili kong babalik ako.

Babalik ako para sa kanya.

Despite facing that break-up, I worked hard to reach the title.

I became the valedictorian of our batch.

Noong mga panahong iyon ay hindi ako makatingin kay Dahlia pero umaasa akong masaya siya sa kung ano mang narating ko.

She knows how I struggled.

I hope she's doing well.

Tinapos ko ang natitirang apat na taon ng pag-aaral bago tuluyang bumalik sa kanya.

I made my parents proud first and met their expectations before finding Dahlia again.

She became a residential architect.

Walang duda dahil simula pa lang, alam na niyang 'yon ang gusto niyang gawin.

Tumawag ako sa kompanya kung saan siya nagtatrabaho bilang architect.

I made sure that she'll be the one who'll design our future home.

Sinubukan kong maging pormal sa muling pagkikita namin.

Halata ko ang pagkagulat sa hitsura niya at halos matawa sa isip ko nang makitang nalaglag pa niya ang cellphone niya.

When I saw her, I clearly knew the reason why I am coming back for her.

I missed her.

I tried everything not to show the real reason for coming back.

Sa ilang linggong pagkikita namin, pinakiramdam ko kung may pag-asa pa bang bumalik kami sa dati.

I have no idea if she already had a boyfriend or a family.

I was literally clueless.

That bracelet on her wrist really gave me a little hope.

But just like before, I became too indecisive.

Sa sobrang pagtatago ko, lalo pang lumayo ang loob niya.

After that confrontation, she dropped the project.

Ibang architect ang pumalit para mag-disenyo sa bahay na ipapagawa ko para naman talaga dapat sa amin ni Dahlia.

Ilang beses akong nagpabalik-balik sa lugar kung saan kami madalas nagkikita para pag-usapan ang project.

I was hoping to see her everytime.

While watching the sunset, I wrote a letter for her.

I made a note telling the genuine reason I had ended things with her years ago.

Inamin ko ang mga rason kung bakit ak bumalik, kung bakit gano'n ang inakto ko noong mga nakaraan at kung bakit nagpapagawa ako ng bahay ngayon.

I want to put her first this time. I know that all those things damaged her. I wanted to heal her in any possible way. I want her to heal by my side.

I am asking for a second chance.

After writing that letter, I went home and came back the next day.