Sinner // Sebastian Sallow

EIGHT

You stay away from the Undercroft for a few days, thinking of the rat and plagued with nightmare after nightmare. They've gotten worse in the last week, now accompanied by cracks in the mirror or a disfigured bed post, and you're reaching your wit's end.

In potions, Garreth sticks to his word and hands you a small bottle of Sleeping Draught.

"If you ever think about trying it, you'll always have some on you." he points out with a smile as he forces it into your palm.

You don't protest and thank him, slipping it into a pocket. At this rate you might just try it, regardless of the risks that may or may not come with a Weasley-made potion.

Though, there's a long way to go until the end of the day when you can try and sleep again, and without your usual Undercroft visit the boredom creeps in rather quickly.

After classes you keep to the library for the evening, nose shoved into as many study books as you can fit in the limited time. You try your best to forget the urge to delve into the Dark Arts, instead forcing your brain into a world of herbology instead.

You're not alone in the library, but the small pockets of students keep themselves to themselves and that's exactly how you like it. There's a small part of you that wished Natsai and Poppy are there to keep you company, but you know you're better off alone.

Sighing, you turn the final page of the herbology textbook and rub your eyes after staring down word after word. Now you've finished, you have the meticulous task of finding something else you fancy reading.

Closing the book, you scoop it up off the table and carry it against your chest back towards the shelf. Every footstep pounds in your ears, each little shift in your clothes echoing in your surroundings.

Your mind works on autopilot, remembering almost the exact place you found the herbology book. Using your free hand, you push the slouched books upright before putting yours back in its rightful place. It's satisfying work; every book fits perfectly in the shelf, and not one doesn't belong.

You take one step back as you admire the hardback covers, before twisting yourself around to the shelf opposite to start browsing all over again.

"Why are you hiding in here for?"

Jumping out of your skin, you snap your wand out of your cloak and towards the voice — only to be met with Sebastian Sallow. He doesn't even flinch.

Your nostrils flare, then, "What are you doing here?"

"I just asked you the same question." he pushes the wand gently to one side with a finger. "Is everything alright with you?"

"Why do you even care?" you snap, lowering your hand and tucking your wand away. Turning your body to the books, you begin to flick through the covers with your eyes.

"Because I do," you almost laugh at that, but Sebastian continues, "And you're vacant all the time in class and you're not in the Undercroft. Has something happened?"

Your eyes fall to a lower shelf, lip rolling between your teeth. You think you don't want Sebastian here at all, asking all these questions. But, even after all this time, there's something about him that draws you in — you hate it.

"All I can say is that you're right," you say, articulating your words carefully. "I'm not in control, I need a break."

There's a silence longer than you're comfortable with that follows, but that allows plenty of time for you to pull a book into your grasp.

"Ignoring could make it worse." he says.

You narrow your eyes, finally turning in his direction, "I don't get why you even care, Sebastian. "

He regards you with a calculated gaze, "Am I not allowed to care?"

"You never cared before," you snap back, pushing past him with your shoulder. You can't look at him, and you won't allow yourself that luxury.

You can hear his footsteps behind you, just as fast as yours, as you make your way back to your table, "You can't decide how I feel for me."

The table isn't too far a walk and, before long, you find the edge of the table digging into your side. Dumping the book with a satisfying thump, you spare one glance up at him, "Oh really? I think I can decide seeing how you stopped talking to me once I was useless to you."

Sebastian's body flinches as you sit down, each word a prick on his skin, "That's not true."

You open the book, "Yes it is, unless you have another explanation for it?"

Your classmate falls silent and you almost smile; you win.

Though, you can't help the subtle stab of pain through your chest. You and Sebastian certainly have your history together and within just a few months you fell back into being strangers. His silence is enough to confirm your worst fears.

It's been like that for so long you can't remember when it starts, so Sebastian's sudden interest in you catches you entirely off guard. You like consistency, and you certainly don't like surprises.

"I wasn't joking when I said I had my eye on you," Sebastian clears his throat, beginning from an entirely new page. "You've changed a lot, it's like you have a whole new personality sometimes."

"Thanks for the encouragement, I feel great." you scoff, staring down the book's first page. The words are there, but not one sentence formulates in your head. Nothing makes sense on the page; mainly because Sebastian takes up most of your thoughts.

"That's exactly what I mean!" he exasperates, running a hand through his hair with the other one resting on his hip. "You sound...like a Slytherin."

You pause your 'reading', the world coming to a shuddering halt around you. Despite it being his own Hogwarts House, the name drips with venom from his tongue, like a crime you've unknowingly committed.

Still, you refuse to look at him, "I'm Hufflepuff, I'm not a Slytherin."

"Without your yellow robes, I wouldn't be able to tell." he folds his arms across his chest.

You purse your lips, the corner of your mouth twitching. There's not much you can say to that, regardless of how irritated it makes you. You and Sebastian stay like that for what seems like forever; him staring you down and you drowning yourself within the pages.

But he can't take it. It drives him so crazy that he slams his hand down on the table in front of you and forces your chin up to face him, "You're barely even looking at me, I don't understand what I've done wrong."

He's too close, you can feel his breath on your face, but you're far from intimidated, "Maybe you could've been my friend for the last year? Maybe you could've been there this whole time?"

Sebastian's green eyes flick across your face, tracing every line and every pore with his vision. You're under the microscope, and he can't stop studying you.

"Did it ever occur to you that I've been here all along?"

You frown then, "I don't understand."

His eyes narrow as he removes his fingers from your chin. Straightening up, he looms over you as he says, "You don't. You've only been thinking of yourself."

And he walks away, leaving you alone with the open book pages and your thoughts.