love at first sight?

goodbyes

*Ivy*

I woke up with a small headache. My head was placed on Charles chest and his arms were wrapped around my body. I smiled when I looked at him. His eyes were closed but a small smile appeared on his face. He wasn't sleeping anymore.
"Good morning, mon cœur", he whispered and placed a kiss on my temple. "Good morning, Charlie", I smiled and turned around so that my whole body laid on his and I was facing him. "How are you feeling?", he asked and stroked my hair. "A little headache but I'm good" a grin appeared on his face. "What? Did I do anything stupid yesterday? I wasn't that drunk, was I?", I asked starting to believe I did some embarrassing things. I quickly scanned my whole body. I wasn't naked. Good. Charles noticed my anxious look as I was scanning my body. "Don't worry, mon cœur. You didn't sleep with me. I wouldn't do that", he lifted up my chin. I knew he wouldn't take advantage of me being drunk to sleep with him but Liam always did so there was this thought. "I know, Charlie", I tried to make my smile look honest. There was a worried look on his face. "Did he do that? Take advantage of you when you were drunk?", he asked after some time. I nodded. "I'm so sorry, Ivy", he pulled me closer and pressed another kiss on my temple. "It's okay, I learned to live with it", I said when I was finally able to speak again. "He's not in my life anymore and I am very glad about that", I said and really meant it. He gave me a small smile but I knew he was still worried about me.
To be honest I still don't know how I deserved to have him in my life now. He's so good to me and cares about me a lot. Every other girl would not hesitate and get into a relationship with him. I'm aware of that. However, it's all so new and we live far away from each other. We're both busy the next weeks. I have my finals. He has races. I'm not sure it's going to work. "Hey, are you okay?", Charles interrupted my thoughts. "Yes, I was just thinking", I meant. "About what?", he asked stroking my back. "I'm scared it's not going to work, Charles", I said. With him I always told the truth. I can't lie to him. It wouldn't be fair to him. "I'm scared too, Ivy. But it's all going to work. We can facetime every day and you can come to my races. I know you're stressed because of your finals but maybe you have some time to come to some of the next races", he said and I had to smile. He wanted me to be at his races. He wanted me to be near him. "I'd like that", I grinned.

He returned the grin and connected his lips with mine. God this man really knows how to kiss. If I would be standing right now, my knees would become weak. We got interrupted by a ring at Charles door. I looked at him questioning. "I don't know", he said and got up to see who's at the door. "Charlotte? What are you doing here", I heard Charles say. I knew who she was. His ex girlfriend. What was she doing here? I didn't want to eavesdrop at them so I looked through instagram on my phone. My eyes fell on a picture. It was Charles. With Charlotte. In the club yesterday. The date it was published confirmed it. My heart aches. Tears were streaming down my face. My breathing started to get faster. They were kissing on this photo. Why did I trust him? He told me that he loves me. Why would he do that to me? He know what I've been through. My vision blurred. I heard them at the door. "I still have feelings for you, Charles. I know you love me. Last night-", it was Charlotte. Last night. It was true. They kissed. Last night. Fuck. I had to leave.

I quickly got up but almost fell. I was dizzy. My head was hurting. I couldn't breathe. Still I had to leave. I changed into my clothes and packed my suitcase. Throwing everything inside it without any organisation. I heard them discussing at the door. I didn't know that they were saying. I couldn't hear. I couldn't breathe. Everything went automatically. Packing my suitcase. Wiping away the tears. Packing the suitcase.
I heard footsteps. I looked up. Charles. "What are you doing Ivy?", he asked a worried look on his face. I tried to speak. Didn't work so well. He came closer. No. I didn't want that. No touch. Please. He hurt me. A lot. I stopped him from
touching me. Then I showed him the picture of last night. Him and Charlotte. Kissing. "Ivy, it's not what it looks like", he said beginning to panic. "It's obvious, Charles. You're kissing. So that's why you were gone for so long", I finally found my voice again. Even though my voice broke at the end. I cried. Very hard. "No. Yes. Ivy, let me explain. Please", he begged. But he had confirmed it. He was with her. "Why did you lie to me? You told me that you love me. Why would you hurt me like this?", I almost screamed as anger came up inside of me. "I didn't kiss her", he said. What? Of course he kissed her. The photo showed it. "You kissed her, Charles. Look at this", I said pointing to the picture on my phone. "I'm leaving now", I said a little more quiet. My voice broke again. I started walking to the door. He followed me. "Ivy. No. Don't leave. Please. Let me explain", he was crying too. It didn't matter. He kissed her. "No, Charles. I can't do this right now. You lied to me", I sobbed and opened the door. "I thought you were different", I quietly said but knew he heard it. "Ivy. No. Stay. Please", he was sobbing too. I couldn't look at him. It would make me stay. But I had to leave. Run away. I was done with love. It didn't exist for me anymore. I shook my head and made my way through the door. He held me back on my wrist but I shook it off. I walked away. Almost ran. He didn't follow me. He didn't love me.