love at first sight?

life

*Ivy*

I had told my dad everything about my trip to Monaco. Including the situation with Charles. He wasn't very happy about it and felt sorry for me. I also told him about the abusive side of Liam and what happened with him. He took it better than I thought. Even though he was a bit mad I didn't tell him sooner.

It's been some time since my week in Monaco. I've finished my finals four weeks ago and am now working in Monaco. Since I flew back to London that morning I didn't hear from Charles. He tried to call me a few times but I declined. I still chose to work at the company in Monaco because it was the best offer. I'm a little scared to meet him. Monaco is a small country. I have a small apartment near the beach with a balcony. Sometimes I watch the stars from there but it reminds me of my last night with Charles so I don't do it that often. I think I've heard some rumours that he has a new girlfriend. He's been seen with a brunette girl a couple of times. Guess I wasn't his type anyways. I've met a guy too. His name is Adrian and he's actually nice. I'm not sure whether I really love him though. I guess I will never love someone like I loved Charles. Maybe I still love him. I think I always will. We're not really dating yet but we often spent time with each other and he stays at my apartment more usual now.

Today was a busy day at work. I had a lot meetings to discuss some things about the companies' future. But I love my job.
"Hey babe", Adrian says as he steps through the door. "Hey, I'm done with dinner. Are you hungry?", I ask him and give him a quick kiss. I don't get the weakness in my knees like with Charles but it still feels nice. "Sure, what did you make?", he steps into the kitchen and puts his arm around my waist. "Pasta Carbonara", I giggle as I see him enjoying the smell.

"We're invited to a dinner party on Friday, it's from one of my friends. I believe there are going to be a lot of people. You wanna go?", he says while we eat. I think about it for a minute but then nod. I need to stop thinking about Charles and live my life to the fullest. "Sure, I'd love to", I smile and get up to clean the dishes. Adrian just gets up and sits down on the couch. I let out a sigh. He never helps with cleaning or cooking or anything. "Charles did", I think as the water pours over my hands. I have to stop thinking about him. I'm with Adrian now.

TW: violence

After we watched some tv and got ready to sleep we lay down in bed. I'm very tired because of the long day I had. Adrian comes closer to me and starts kissing my neck. "Adrian, I'm really tired. Can we just sleep, please? I had a long day at work", I nicely say and expect him to accept it. He didn't. He kept on kissing me and touching me. I didn't want this. His hands made their way to my pants and put them down a little, Then he sat on top of me. "Adrian, please. I'm really not in the mood", I say and panic a little. "Ivy, stop moving. I want you now", he grumbles and opens his pants and puts a condom over his cock. He moans as he gets inside me and begins to go forward and backwards. I try to stop him which makes him hold my wrists tightly. Hurt brushes through my body. Tears start to fall down my cheeks. Abusive guy. Again.
He lets himself fall to the side after he's finished. I quickly get up and go to the toilet. I look at my wrists. There are dark red marks in them where is grip was a few minutes ago. It hurts like hell. I cry. Why do I always get the abusive guys? Charles wasn't abusive. He was the most caring person ever. But he hurt me.

I got back to the bedroom. He was already sleeping. Thank god. I quietly got under my sheets and as far away as possible from him. A few silent tears fall down. I close my eyes and fall asleep.

The next morning he apologises and even makes breakfast. I know I should probably run away as fast as possible and break up with him but I'm scared. He gives me a kiss and I try to act normal. Maybe it was just a one time thing. Maybe he's not like this. Like Liam.

We both head off to work. Adrian works as an real estate agent. I'm very happy when I finally arrive at work. "Ivy, are you okay? You look very beaten up", Elena my coworker says as she sees me. "Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just a little tried", I say but know it's not true. Elena is my best friend. We both started here a few weeks ago as college graduates and became very close. We tell each other everything. Almost everything. I even told her about the thing with Charles.

After work we decide to go to a bar and celebrate because we just finished a great deal. "Two shots of tequila", Elena orders for us and we sit down. "So, tell me. How is it with Adrian?", she asks with a grin. I swallow. He basically raped me yesterday. "Good, he's a nice guy. We get along well", I lie. "You talk about him like he's some kind of client. Are you sure you love him?", she asks. I know she would notice. "I'm not sure, Elena. It's only been like three weeks. Love needs time", I mean and order two more shots. "Do you think you could love him?" "I don't know, El. It's complicated", I say and sigh. "You still think about him, right?", she asks. I immediately know who she means. "It's complicated. I really thought he likes me", I sigh again. "Oh, Ivy. You have to stop thinking about him", she says and pats my back. "I know", I quietly say.

We stayed there for three hours before we called it quit and both went home. I wasn't very drunk. We just had one cocktail after the shots.
"Where the fuck have you been?", Adrian shouts in an angry voice as I step into my apartment. It let me wince. "I was just in a bar with Elena. We chatted a bit", I try to calm him down. "With Elena? Are you sure?", his voice is still angry. Shit. I'm scared. "Yes, we went there after work", I explain in a soft voice. "Don't play games with me Ivy. Did you cheat on me?", he shouts and grabs my arm. It hurts. I can smell that he drank alcohol. "I didn't cheat. I was with Elena the whole time", I say and start to cry. His grip hurts so bad. After some time he finally calmed down and relieves the grip. I step back and stare at him. A look of realisation appeared on his face. "I'm so sorry, Ivy. I didn't mean to..I..I don't know what came to my mind", he stuttered and came closer to me. I took another step back. Why did he act like this? He was so nice to me in the beginning. We stood there in silence for a few minutes. He pulled me into a hug. I let him. It's messed up, I know. But if I admit that he's like Liam it would break me.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Adrian was in the kitchen cooking something for dinner. I guess he did it to apologise. My makeup was ruined and my mascara was all over my face. My arm had a dark red mark on it, like on both my wrists. It looked horrible. For the dinner tomorrow I had to choose a long sleeve dress so that no one saw the marks. "Dinner's ready!", I hear Adrian's voice through the closed door. "I'll be right there", I shout back and look at myself one more time.

Adrian acts like everything is normal and right. I can't do that but I try. "How was work today?", he asks as I sit down. Wow. "Uhm..good. We finished a great deal today", I say but avoid looking at him. "That's great, Ivy. What is it about?", he sounds normal. I swallow. How can he act this normal now? He literally hurt me. I still explain it to him and he seems interested. After dinner we sit down on the couch. I take out my phone and scroll through instagram. I can't help it and search for Charles account. He looks like two months ago. The most recent photo shows him on the podium in Belgium. I have to smile. He won the race. After what happened with him I stopped watching formula 1. I still look up the results though. Every time I see him finishing in the top three I have to smile. "What are you looking at?", Adrian asks in a voice that gives me goosebumps. Not in a good way though. "Just instagram", I say and smile. He nods. Why is he so controlling suddenly?

Today is the dinner party. I'm not looking forward to it actually. I'm still processing everything that happened the last two days. The change in Adrian's behaviour. It was just too much for me. I put on a long sleeve dress because the marks my arm and wrists were still visible. It still hurt too. I chose a tight long red dress that suited my skin colour. "You look amazing", Adrian says and smiled as I get out of the bathroom. "Thank you", I smile back. He puts his hand on my back and leads me to his car. I tense up with his touch to be honest. Always scared he's going to hurt me. He doesn't notice. We get in his car and he starts to drive. His friend owns a jewellery company that's very famous in Monaco.

The dinner location is beautiful. It's near the harbour of Monaco with a great view. There are many people already even though we're early. Adrian's hand is still on my back. I look around a bit and greet some other friends of Adrian who I already know. That's when I locked eyes with someone. I frowned. Shit.