love at first sight?

regret

*Charles*

It took me 1,5 hours to do all the interviews. The whole time I couldn't stop to think about Ivy and how upset and hurt she seemed when I left. I feel so dumb for not defending her against Eloise when she insulted her. I just didn't know what to say at that moment. Now I know several different answers to tell my stupid media manager that Ivy is the most beautiful woman on earth and that she'll no longer work with me when she continues insulting her. I know I can't just fire her though. She belongs to the team. "Good work, Charlie", Eloise says after I finished my last interview. Charlie? Definitely not. Only Ivy can call me that. "Yeah, thanks", I say brushing away her hand on my shoulder. I catch a weird look from Pierre and Lando who are waiting for me. We agreed on going back to the hotel together. "I have to go now", I say to her and walk off to my friends. "What was that about?", Pierre asks me as soon as I reach them. "I don't know, she does that all the time", I say to them. "Are you sure she knows it's only a work relationship?", Lando asks amused. "I hope so, at least", I mean and we walk to my car. I just now realise that Ivy had to walk back to the hotel. We came here by car together but she couldn't drive back because I had the keys. I feel incredibly bad right now. She didn't even have a jacket. She probably froze like hell. I'm such a bad boyfriend. "Shit, I let Ivy walk to the hotel alone", I blast out when reality hits me as soon as I sit down in the drivers seat. "You're kidding right?", Pierre asks exchanging a quick look with Lando. "The way is so long mate and it's freezing outside now", Lando says which makes me feel even worse about it. "I forgot we came here together, shit", I say and start the engine. I need to know she's okay. She didn't even text me which she would normally do. I speed back to the hotel not paying attention to any speed limits. Pierre and Lando don't say anything. They know I fucked up. I know too. As soon as we're there I jump out of the car and we get into the elevator that gets us to our rooms. We're all on the same floor. I just hope Ivy is with Elena so I go with Lando. Pierre tells us goodbye and we decide to meet for dinner later. "I hope she's in there", I say to Lando as he opens the door with his key card. Elena gets up from the couch when she sees us, approaching Lando and giving him a quick kiss. I don't see any Ivy though. "Is Ivy here?", I ask her looking around the room. Her eyes lighten up with anger. Shit. "No, you idiot. She's in your room, hopefully sleeping the pain away that she has because she twisted her ankle because of you", she angrily says coming a little closer and pointing at me. I swallow. Once. Then twice. What? "Wait, what?", Lando is the one breaking the silence. "Ivy had to walk here because your friend forgot that she is his girlfriend, then there was a thunderstorm which she is hella scared of so she ran. And guess what, she slipped and twisted her ankle. She also told me about what happened earlier. You do know about her childhood, right? This possibly affected her more than any other person", Elena almost shouts now, clearly directing the last part to me. I don't know what to say. Why her childhood? Lando seems as confused as I. "I don't know what you're talking about", I say to her. I feel some tears in my eyes. Her faces softens a bit. "She was bullied because of her clothes since she is 6 years old, Charles. Because of that she evolved an eating disorder. Her childhood was a nightmare, Charles. What do you think does it to her when someone insult her because of her clothes and body?", she says in a more calm way now. I don't know what to say. I can't speak. Some silent tears fall down my cheeks. She never told me about it. Probably because she never wanted to think about it again. I stand there in shock a little longer. Thinking about how much I fucked up today. First she had to go through a panic attack because she thought I died in that crash and then I let my media manager insult her and let her walk back. I'm so fucking stupid. Elena turns around and leaves into the bathroom. Lando lays his hand on my shoulder. "You should look after her, mate", Lando says patting me on my shoulder. I nod and leave their room. Our room is right across from it. I'm scared to go in. Scared that she is going to leave me. Even if I deserve it. I take out the key card and open the door. It's dark in the room
when I step in. I refuse to turn on the lights. I make my way to the bedroom and my heart breaks when I see her. She's laying in the bed sleeping, a pack of ice on her ankle and a bandage showing under the sweatpants. I carefully step a little closer. Her mascara is smudged telling me she cried. Her hair still a little wet from getting into the thunderstorm. My heart shatters into a thousand pieces when I realise she's wearing my clothes. I can't hold back the tears anymore. She still put on my clothes after everything I put her through today. I kneel down next to the bed, taking her hand that is very cold. A bandage on it. I get up again and pull the sheets over her little body. I press a kiss on her forehead before I leave into the bathroom. I feel so bad. This is all my fault. She must've been so scared. I know she has a trauma of thunderstorms from her childhood. Every time there is one I pull her close to me and caress her hair to calm her. But I wasn't with her. I let her alone. Again. I fucked up. A lot.