My Wee Mate

37 - A Promise

Ailsa

The days pass like honey dripping from a spoon. Slow, smooth blobs droppings that take longer to pass the closer you look at it. My healing keeps me trapped in my room for too many sunrises and sunsets. I watch the sun from my window, disappearing and reaperring, and still I cannot leave.

Terror still lingers in my bones, and the thought of sneaking down to see my little secret is unbearable. I know that Douglas is gone, and it will be at least a month until I see him, but I can't seem to bury the feeling.

The fear stays with me even as the Ramsay's leave. His attack stayed in my mind for 3 days. 3 days that I go without visiting Fraser.

It has been sheer torture. The lack of him was almost like an electricity inside of me, bursting to get out. It made me antsy. I found it difficult to sit still, I needed to go to him. That was the constant feeling and thought in my heart, a knowing, I had to be near him, or I would die.

I thought of hardly anything else besides him.
It felt like an obsession as I was trapped in my tiny room. I spent so much time pacing, hoping and praying that he was safe and missing him so much that I ate

In all that time, I never once saw my father, and my mother seldom visited me. It wasn't exactly surprising, in fact, I was grateful for their negligence. It meant that I could build up my courage and peace, being surrounded by Gentry's positive spirit was enough to make me recover quickly.

Tonight, as the moon emerges from the darkness, I can feel it in my gut that tonight is the night that I go back to him. It certainly took me long enough, but the readiness building inside me is making my throat tight and my muscles tense.

It takes me longer than usual to go bellow stairs, extra vigilant now after my previous encounter. The whole attack from Douglas has opened my mind to how careful I must be from now on.

I was nervous that my family would wonder why I had been out so late sneaking about the castle when the boy struck. I had my mind made up to excuse my journey with an innocent claim of thirst. I could insist that my throat had been dry and I needed a drink, and that the attack had been coming on early and so I simply couldn't lay in bed.

It sounded believable to me, and I rehearsed it multiple times in the mirror, waiting for one of my parents to broach the subject. I was prepared. It seemed that I overestimated their concerns. The question never once arose, and I got off free of suspicion, even though I didn't feel like I deserved it.

Luckily for me, I could use the excuse if I was caught a second time. It certainly gave me some wiggle room, but not enough to be completely comfortable. I still have to be careful, and I will be. I have to see Frase. It's all that matters, especially now that I'm determined to free us both from this hell.

Grabbing my lantern and a cloak to cover my throat, I hurry down the stairs, anxious to see him. I imagine his smile and his rumpled hair, and it's difficult not to smile and run from the giddiness building at the mere idea of him.

I make it without a single run in, not one person in my quest to reach him. It feels like a blessing.

And he's waiting for me when I arrive. Standing enormously tall in his dank cell.

"Ailsa! Where the devil have you been? I've been worried sick!" I don't miss the accusation in his voice. I sigh.

He's angry with me, and my first reaction is to be upset by this, but I know I would be the same way if our positions were reversed.

"Oh, here and there I ran into some..." I pause with great deliberation. "trouble." I decide on the word because it fits just fine without making a large ordeal out of the attack.