Beautiful Nightmare

Nyssa

7 Years Later...

I'll never forger that day, the lump that formed in my throat when the DEA officer handed me the warrant at my front door. The sting in my chest seeing the officers raid my home, their bodies moving swiftly through my home destructing everything in their path. The look on my babies faces as they watched, the tears that swelled in their eyes as Rose held them, her crying with them at the kitchen island. The cold metal around my wrist...

I shot up out of bed, sweat sticking to my skin. I gasp trying to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling violently. I look around the room trying to catch my bearings, I force myself out of bed slipping on my robe laying in the chair across my room. I take a couple more breaths leaning on my dresser, I look at myself in the mirror my curly brown hair sits disheveled in a bun on my head. My baby hairs sticking to my forehead as the sweat droplets roll down my neck. The bags under my eyes are deep from exhaustion. I wipe the sleep out of my eyes, fixing my bun on top of my hair. I look down at my wrist checking my apple watch, it's five in the morning. I breathe out a frustrated sigh and open the door to my bedroom. My house is quiet, the soft glow of their nightlights beam out of their rooms. I walk down the hall stopping to peer into the room on the right. Elijah lays quietly in his bed, the solar system illuminated on his walls and ceiling. A smile forms my lips as I close the door leaving it cracked. I go directly across the hall into Rosie's room, her barbie and stuffed animals still seated from today's afternoon tea party. She lays there a thumb in her mouth, a habit that I have been trying to break for some time now. She shuffles in her sleep and I can't help but to see him in both of them.

I crack her door and walk my way back up the hallway to my room. I go to my nightstand unplugging my phone, Saturday April 2nd 2022 lights up on my lock screen. I also see a text notification from Tay:

"Hey Nyssa! School is going great! How are the babies? Kiss them for me...I can come home if you want for a few days. These valley girls ain't really my style anyway. "

I smile at her text, Tay has been my biggest supporter since the arrest. She has been the one person there for me and the kids when everyone else turned their backs on us. I make a mental note to call her later on today. I pop out the pod of my Nespresso replacing it with a fresh one, placing my cup under to collect my coffee. I head to the fridge taking out my creamer, swiping the caramel drizzle from the pantry as I walk back to the machine. I move routinely pulling another glass from the cabinet in front of me. I drizzle the caramel around the edges of the glass, watching the golden streams dance down the sides. I sometimes get lost in this process, it's simple, but it brings me joy. My cellphone buzzes on the island, I look over seeing a notification light up on my screen.

I walk over and read:

"Don't play dumb, I know you know where it is. My patience is running thin...don't test me"

The hairs on the back of my neck shoot up as I grab my phone, furiously typing:

"I told you to stay the hell away from me!"

I highlight the contact and hit block, "Fuck", I smack my hands against the counter grabbing my things heading back up the stairs.

2 Hours later...

"Elijah! Rosie! We have to go, car now!" I scream up the stairs. My SUV is packed with the essentials, snacks, changes of clothes, tablets, and toys. Everything we need to see him...I snap back into reality, as feet run past me in a tornado towards the garage. "Stop running!" , I blurt out as I grab my coat from the hall closet. I arm the house as I walk into the garage, Rosie and Elijah both in their seats. I check them both and get in the front seat, I pray for our safety as I set out for the four hour trip. I hate driving into the city, the fact that I even have to come back to New York puts my stomach in knots. "They will know me Nyssa, my kids will know who I am", his voice rings through my ears as we board the bus to Rikers.