If Only I Can

Chapter 7: The Sidekick

Anastashia's P.O.V.:

I ran away from him. Bakit ganun? I was not supposed to feel bad.. Di dapat ako nasasaktan.. I knew. I already knew about it. Alam ko na sya nga yun.. pero bakit parang masakit pa din? Di ba dapat nga masaya pa ako? Kasi,.. finally inamin nya na sya nga.. I should be happy by now. Happy that he confessed. Pero bakit parang nasaktan ako somewhere sa mga pangyayari? I cried to myself. Damn. My heart stung. Masakit. I can't help question my self. "Bakit?" Bakit nya ako iniwan? Bakit hindi sya lumaban? Bakit hinayaan nyang mapunta ako sa iba? Mahal nya ako pero bakit ganun?.. bakit iniwan nya ako? I cried to myself. Naiinis ako. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko. I hate myself for forgetting everything. I hate that I don't know a single thing about us. I hate that it hurts me. "Bakit?" Tinanong ko uli ang sarili as I reached a bench in the aisle filled with flowers and buds. Naupo ako dun, I stayed there for awhile. I just want to enjoy the silence. I want to be alone. I wanted to enjoy all the space I'm getting just for myself. I want to think through things. I place both my hands on my face and continued sobbing.

"Anastashia? Can I sit with you?" I heard someone say, I looked and saw Artchie standing beside me. I didn't answer him. But he sat beside me anyway.I eyed him," Did you knew about us?" He heaved a heavy sigh and nodded as an answer to my question. I clenched my fist and asked through gritted teeth," why didn't he fight for me? Bakit iniwan nya ko?" "Tash, calm down.. makinig ka muna sa kin.." "Eh, gago pala yang kaibigan mo eh,." I was not able to filter the things I'm saying. Naiinis ako.. I don't hate him.. I'm just.. upset. And I need answers. "Naaksidente lang ako, nakalimutan ko lang sya.. hindi na nya ako pinaglaban. Mahal ba yun? Bakit nya ko ini--" "They left him with no choice! He never wanted to leave you! Kung alam mo lang. Halos ikamatay nya ng mawala ka sa kanya! Heck Tashia,. Kung ikaw lang sana ang nakakita sa kanya nung mga panahon nayun. Minsan nga gusto ko na syang sapakin." Natahimik ako sa mga sinabi nya. "He.. that bastard.. ginawa nya lahat para sayo.. Araw-araw kasama mo sya. He never dare leave your side nung ma comma ka.. he stayed faithful to you Tashia.. hinding hinding sya umalis sa tabi mo.. Ta's isang araw pinagbawalan sya ng nanay mo na makasama ka ulit. Alam mo ba kung gaano kahirap ang hinihingi ng nanay mo sa kanya? Pero akala mo ba pumayag sya? Hindi Tasha. Pero anong magagawa nya? Naglaho kayo." Pinalayo sya sakin?.. bakit, paano nagawa sakin ni mama yun? Hindi ko maintindihan... why did she took the guy I loved most away from me?

" every single day Tasha.. nakita ko kung gaano siya nasira. He changed. He always says he lost everything, and by that he meant you. He tried to forget all the pain, tried to forget you. But he fails everytime." "Art, why do you know so much things about us? " "Because I am his one and only sidekick. I am his bestfriend.Tash, I know you don't remember, but  i was there from the very start of Nashia Rodrique. Nung ligaw-ligaw palang.. every monthsaries and anniversaries. I was there, Nathan and I always planned the surprises together.. I have seen, and I know every effort, I saw how he fell inlove in such a beautiful way with you, I watched how your love grew, and I also saw every pain, how he destroyed himself because of that love and everything after that." He told me while looking far ahead. He actually look so serious. Nashia Rodrique? That's the page I saw. "Nashia Rodrique.. diba page yun?" He smiled and looked at me."Oo. It was a page that was created by people who loves your relationship. Sa sobrang pure at honest ng pagmamahal nyo, pati ibang tao minahal ang relasyon nyo. So Tash? Please forgive him, forgive my bestfriend. He loves you much more than you know right now." Natahimik nanaman ako. Nakakaguilty. Parang wala ako sa lugar magalit o mainis man lang.. I was glad he talked to me,. I know I have to make things right. Between us, and between the people who took me away from him. Artchie and I shared a few minutes of silence bago kami nagpaalam sa isa't-isa. I decided to call it a night and went home. Grabe, talagang napagod ako. Nahiga ako  sa bed and stared at the ceiling. Napapikit ako at nakatulog..