Esther

1 - I plan a date (not) sans Josh

Alex

I don't know what I should chalk it up to. Maybe the fact that Esther is one of those girls. The ones who seem effortlessly amazing at everything. The ones who's smile send boys chasing after them, tripping over their own feet for attention. Maybe it's the fact that Esther and I have known each other for longer than I can remember, having been friends since pretty much the day we were born. Or maybe it was the fact that she shouldn't be near a JERK like Josh. Josh, who's crooked smile makes girls weak in their knees. Josh, who spends his time around loud boys who throw food across the cafeteria.

Anyway.

Whatever the reason, after I see Josh and Esther laughing together after her volleyball match, his arm around her shoulder. I work things out to a very intelligent and logical conclusion.

I think back. How could I not have seen the signs? The way my heart beats faster whenever Josh is near me, the way my face heats and I stumble over my words, desperate to not sound dumb in front of him. The way I look over at him when I succeed at something, trying to prove my worth, trying to prove that I am not a loser. Yes, it's all oh so obvious as I glare at the two of them from my seat in the stands, hunched over my chemistry textbook.

I am in love with Esther. And Josh is in my way.

It's the only answer. I am desperate to prove myself to Josh, so that he can see I deserve Esther instead of him.

But it is Josh that we're talking about. The perfect golden boy Josh.

Wish me luck

"Hey, Esther! Congrats on the win!"

She turns and smiles at me, sliding out from under Josh's arm.

"Thanks! We're officially in the finals now!"

We fall into step beside each other, heading to our lectures as we discuss the ins and outs of the game. I try to ignore Josh as he solemnly walks beside Esther, other college students parting like the red sea in front of him, avoiding his eyes. First rule of the hallways, don't pick a fight with someone bigger than you. Josh doesn't have a problem, of course. Stupid Josh with his stupid 6'5 height and his stupid football skills. I glower inwardly.

Esther bids us farewell at the door of her Law lecture room (Yep, you read that right, Esther does Law. I told you she was pretty much perfect), which leaves me and Josh to walk in an awkward silence to our chem room. I try to ignore the way I can feel the ghost of his arm brush against mine, pushing down the butterflies of rage dancing in my gut. After a moment, he clears his throat.

"So..." he coughs "what's up between you and Esther?"

AHA! I knew it! The prick is trying to steal Esther! Well, I'm certainly not having it. No sir.

"We're close, like reeeeally close." I emphasise, trying to set up my point. "We've known each other since childhood and are really good friends. Actually, we were planning on going to the movies on the weekend together."

He blinks. I smirk. I've thrown him off his rhythm. VICTORY SHALL BE MI-

"That sounds fun. Would you mind if I came along?"

Oh.

"I-I don't know man; I'd have to ask Esther..."

"Sweet." He claps me on the back. "Let me know what she says."

He shoots me one of those stupidly handsome crooked smiles and winks, before vanishing into the chem lecture room.

My face feels hot as I follow him through the door, my stomach having twisted itself into knots during our conversation. I swallow, my throat dry.

That...did not go according to plan.

I sigh quietly and bring out my chemistry books. I guess I better get to planning a very awkward movie night date-ish thing. I don't even know what to call it at this point.

And I have exactly one day to prepare.

Esther's final lecture for the day finishes at the same time as mine. I spot her in the hall and jog a little to catch up to her, calling her name.

"Hey! Esther!"

She turns, and her face splits into a grin when she sees me.

"Hey Xander, what's up?"

I smile at the nickname, she's the only one who calls me Xander. Of course. Yeah, it's cliché but whatever.

"I was wondering~" I blink innocently "if you would accompany me to the movies tomorrow night. It's been too long since we've hung out."

She ducks, narrowly avoiding a swinging backpack from one of the football players.

"That sounds great! There's this new movie I've been thinking about seeing. You know the new horror film? I was talking to Josh about it earlier."

I gulp. Horror. Wonderful.

"And speaking of Josh," She continues, seemingly not noticing my immediate regret, "would it be alright if Josh came along? Just because I know he wanted to see it as well."

I screech to a halt in the middle of the hall, someone swearing as they nearly run into me. Esther glances back at me, confused. I clear my throat.

"Yeah, no, sure, Josh can come." I mumble, unsticking my feet from the floor to follow her. She ruffles my hair, making it stick up like uncut grass.

"I knew I could count on you! Thanks Xan! I'll let Josh know!"

She grins and waves, running over to her friends from the volleyball team. I frown, trying to smooth my hair back down. Why can I not do anything right? I kick a stone off the sidewalk and start to make my way to the train station. Surely after tomorrow the whole Josh debacle will be over, and then I can go on an actual date. Without Josh. You hear me universe? A date with Esther sans Josh.

The entire train ride home I stared at the pages of my psychology book, not absorbing a single word. My brain muddles case studies with conversations between me and Josh. I sigh as I pull apart my words, analyse my own body language as though I was a science experiment to be examined. I sigh in defeat and close my psych book. How the hell can I ever compete with someone as stupidly perfect as Josh?

When I get home, I collapse on my bed, feeling like I need to claw my brain out of my head. Instead, I book the tickets.

My goodness am I going to regret this.