Esther

7 - Directions: My location to nearest cliff

Josh

To put it lightly, I am in a pickle.

Alex is my best friend; we just seem to click in a way I haven't with anyone before. But Alex is in love with Esther. I think. And I am also in love with Esther. Therein lies my pickle. Alex? Or Esther?

I look up with a start as Alex enters the room, carrying a glass of water. I watch him over the top of my textbook for a moment, noticing the way he fills the room without even saying anything, the way my eyes follow him even when they're not supposed to.

"Hey! You still in there, kitchen sponge?"

I sit up and blink, trying not to blush too much about getting caught staring at him. Esther's at volleyball practice tonight, leaving me and Alex to fend for ourselves during what was supposed to be a study session. Which was a terrible idea as Alex brought the alcohol over and opened it almost immediately.

"Yeah, just kind of spaced out." I laugh, though it sounds too forced to me. He gives me a lopsided grin before settling on the floor next to me, taking a sip out of his cup and setting it down. We sit in silence for a moment, before he turns to me again.

"How do you survive in this house? It's bloody freezing!" He complains, his words slurring a little as he flops down onto the floor. I roll my eyes and laugh under my breath, wriggling out of my hoodie.

"Here." I throw it at him, successfully covering his entire face. "Put this on. I have heaps of spares if I get cold."

Alex stares at me, wide eyed. His hands clutch the hoodie for a moment as though considering throwing it right back at me, though his need for warmth makes him cave.

"A kind gesture? Dude, I thought that was beyond you." The hood falls over his face as he smirks at me. It's ridiculously too big for him.

"Wow. Remind me not to do anything nice for you ever again if that's your reaction." I shive his shoulder lightly, and, comforted by the dark safety of my own bedroom and the promise that the alcohol will help us forget, I say "Besides, it looks cute on you."

Hey google. Directions to nearest cliff from my location.

I clap my hand over my mouth in horror, trying to ignore the giggling rising in my throat. This is definitely the last time I drink I swear. Alex's eyes grow to the size of saucers as he looks earnestly at me.

"You really mean that?"

He seems so sincere, and for a second, as my laughter dies under the intensity of his gaze, I could swear we were sober.

"Yeah. Yeah, I mean it."

Every inch of my body feels like it's on fire. I feel like I'm aware of too many things at once, how pretty Alex looks in the soft lamplight, how his eyes search my face, desperate for answers, how ridiculously close we're sitting to each other.

My world is Alex, at least for this one moment. I'll blame the alcohol for the fact that I'm not thinking straight as we sit in a charged silence for a moment too long, too close together, too comfortable.

His phone pings with a reminder and we snap out of whatever weird trance we were in. My head reels with seemingly unattached thoughts, but I find myself walking him to the door, not wanting to let him go. We stand in the doorway for a moment, my head fuzzy. Alex looks like he's about to say something, then changes his mind.

Then he giggles and kisses me.

It's nothing really, but it shoots an electric jolt through my entire body.

Before I can fully understand what just happened, he's said his goodbyes and left, leaving me staring at the closed door. My jacket hangs on the hook behind the door, the same jacket I lent Esther all those weeks ago, when we went to see that horror movie, and the person I turned to for comfort was Alex.

When I nearly missed the fireworks at the fair because I was watching Alex, and how innocent his wonder was.

When I dropped everything to help him, at a moment's notice.

When we studied together, and I let my hand linger on his shoulder for a moment longer than it needed to.

When he grabbed my hand at the haunted house and dragged me with him to the exit.

It finally makes sense.

I might not be the smartest in our group, but I can connect the dots. I had it all backwards.

My heart didn't flutter when Alex laughed because I was worried about him stealing Esther. I didn't blush when he got too close because of a rivalry. The pang of jealousy I felt when Alex asked out Esther wasn't because I wanted to go out with Esther.

It was Alex. It has always been Alex, right from the word go.

So, to reiterate my earlier point, I am in a pickle.

My problem? I am in love with my best friend. And my best friend almost certainly doesn't love me back.

I almost think my situation got worse in the space of about an hour.

Just my luck.