Formula 1 Oneshots

Carlos Sainz- depression

Carlos kept his head down as he entered the paddock, normally he would be holding his head up high, proud of the fact he had made it to formula 1, to Ferrari. Normally he would smile and wave at the cameras maybe even answer a few questions. But now he just pulled his hood over his head trying to drown out the voices calling out to him.

The first year in Ferrari he felt like he was riding a cloud, it was great, he had loved it. But things started to go downhill in the second year, now it was his third year with Ferrari and it had been nothing but heartbreak. Week after week he left the track feeling dejected and defeated. He felt like a failure, deep down he knew it was Ferrari not him but that didn't stop him from beating himself up. It didn't help that every time he opened his phone he saw some bad comment on what a terrible driver he is, someone else deserves his seat, doesn't belong in formula 1, doesn't belong in this world. Those hurt the worst, the ones that said he should kill himself, he never would, but the fact that someone felt like he should made him want to go curl up in a ball and cry himself to sleep.

Carlos made his way into the Ferrari hospitality, he nodded at a couple of crew members before finally being able to lock himself away in his driver's room. He wanted to be able to chat for hours with the crew like he used to but he just couldn't. He could never focus anymore it always annoyed people when trying to have a conversation so he avoided conversations. He glanced at his watched and realized he was late to a debriefing.

He walked into the meeting room and sat next to Charles,
"About time you showed up." Charles joked, Carlos rolled his eyes,
"Sorry." He said grumpily, Charles frowned.
"What's wrong?" he asked, Charles shook his head and turned his attention to his crew chief.

Half way through the debriefing Charles roughly kicked Carlos under the table, Carlos snapped back into reality not even noticing he had zoned out. He glared at Charles but felt a little grateful inside for him noticing he wasn't paying attention, however he could have kicked a little gentler.

When the meeting ended Carlos made a bee line for his drivers room. He was almost there when he heard his name be called, he turned and found Charles running towards him.

"What?" He huffed, Charles frowned,
"Are you okay?" Charles asked, it was Carlos's turn to frown,
"I'm fine." He responded coldly, he was, right?
"I'm just worried about you, this isn't you. You've been acting weird for a while now." Charles explained, he took a step closer to Carlos but Carlos took a step back.
"I'm fine." He said again, he turned and entered his drivers room and locked the door.

He felt like crying, he honestly didn't know why he was acting like this. Maybe there was something wrong.

He was deep in thought when a knock at his door brought him sharply back to reality. He groaned inwardly, why couldn't people just leave him alone. He had a couple minutes still before he had to go to the drivers debrief.
"Carlos open the door, I know your in there." A familiar British accent called, Carlos sighed and unlocked the door. Lando quickly opened it and walked in, he shut and locked the door behind him which Carlos appreciated.

Lando stood there for a couple seconds just staring at Carlos,
"What do you want?" Carlos asked as he stared down at the floor,
"My friend to be honest with me and tell me what's going on." Carlos swallowed nervously, Charles had obviously gone to Lando knowing Lando was his weakness, he told Lando everything.
"I'm fine." Carlos said quietly, Lando sighed and sat down next to Carlos.
"Your fine? Then why do you have bags under your eyes? Why do you look like you've lost weight? Why do you look sickly? Why are you locking yourself away in your drivers room if your 'fine'?" I felt tears in my eyes as he pointed out everything, I truly was a failure.

I tried to hold the tears in but eventually just gave up, I didn't have the energy. I felt Lando wrapped his arms around me and he held my while I cried. I was so done with life. When I had stopped crying Lando gently wiped tears from my face,
"Wanna talk about it?" He asked, I shook my head and stayed silent, but after a few minutes I finally opened up.
"I'm a failure Lando." I said almost crying again, "last year was terrible this years even worse, every week I leave the track feeling like a failure cause I am. And everyone knows it, people even tell me to kill myself." A few tears leak down my face against my will.

"Listen to me Carlos, you are not a failure. Ferrari is the one making the mistakes, making the bad calls. And if it's not Ferrari messing you up it's the FIA, it's not you. You go out there every week, put your life on the line and give it your all. Don't listen to anything anyone's says online, your perfect the way you are, your one of the best drivers out there. You have so many friends that are willing to help you through this, you've just got to let us." I gave Lando a small smile before giving him a hug.

"Thank you, I needed this." I said pulling away,
"Anytime, and if I'm not around Charles would be more then happy to talk with you." I nodded, I knew that with the help of Lando and Charles I could get through this, it wouldn't be overnight, but with time I could patch myself back together.