The Chaos Theory: Book One - Donnie

Confession (Part 1)

Chapter Eleven

Donnie's POV:

Her words ran through my head as I jumped from building to building on my way home. She could've asked anyone else to go with her, and she picked me.

So many emotions battled for the reign of my mind! I mean, that was allowed, wasn't it? It feels wrong to be grateful for sensations after throwing the whole 'feelings'-gig away for practically my entire life.

Hey. For her, I'll make an exception.

I lifted the sewer cover cautiously with my hands, careful not to make any noise. I winced as the cover scraped against the ground, making the sound echo in the thick air.

In order to get back to my lab without being noticed, I'd have to enter quietly. I couldn't have any unnecessary beeping of any technology; it wasn't worth the risk. With my command, all of my gadgets shut down.

I made my way through the sewer maze, memorizing each and every turn. The average person would think it smells terrible. If they do, they were right. It reeks.

The voices of two of my brothers echoed as I neared the aquatic entrance. I quickly peered around the wall, finding Raph and Mikey muttering silent words to each other. Hm. That was new. Where was Leo? I figured that a$$hole would be rambling his mouth off to anyone who just happened to stumble into his godforsaken path.

Just out of curiosity, I tilted my head to listen. Or, eavesdrop, if you really want to put it like that.

"... No. I haven't seen him since their fight. I'm worried about him, Raph! The other ones weren't as bad as this. Donnie- well, most of the time, he eventually caves in and apologizes, but... what if they never talk to each other again? Leo seemed- ugh. I don't know. I'm worried about him. About both of them." The muffled sound of held-back tears was strewn from my youngest brother. I couldn't bear to look at them, but I already knew that Raph was squeezing Mikey in a tight embrace.

Well, if I didn't feel like sh1t earlier, I definitely did now.

I took a deep breath and darted off to my room. I could only hope that Leo wasn't awake yet.

- - -

My lab simply brought up flushed memories of all that had occurred the previous evening. Mikey's face was bursting with despondency, and I couldn't bear to witness that tension emit from him again.

Deep breath, Don.

They're all still unaware that I left the sewers. There are parts of me screaming at me, begging me to tell them why. Is that really the best option, though? Admitting everything to them up front, just like that? That's what they got mad at, wasn't it? The whole reason I got into a fight with Leo was because, apparently, I don't tell them anything anymore.

As always, I had that gut feeling that I was wrong. That gut feeling? It was always there; it never went away. In times like these, when, well, we fought- it only maximized itself.

Go. Just apologize to all of them, before they hate every bit of you for who you are.

My lips let out a sigh. I pushed my crowded thoughts aside and assumed my usual carefree demeanor: brows furrowed; eyes half-lidded. Like always. As if no events had unfolded, good nor bad, the doors to my lab opened and I crossed the threshold.

- - -

Walking to my own kitchen was like walking into a minefield. I knew of the truly non-existent dangers that lurked around me, yet I felt compelled to keep on going, putting every bit of my trust into that stupid little stomach nerve.