Green eyes, thick, prominent eyebrows, an angled jaw, a slightly beaked nose, occasional dimples, a shadow of a beard above the mouth and on the very edges of the face, close to the ears.
I don't like my face, not really. It's a realisation that I've only recently had, ironically after watching a long documentary about how social media can have a huge negative impact on teenagers' self perception.
It's not even that I'm like immensely ugly or anything. I think I look pretty average, if not even a bit good. But that doesn't mean that I like it.
It just doesn't feel like me.
Whenever I look in the mirror I have to actively make the connection. That bastard over there? That's you, punk. Because there's no feeling of recognition, no sense of belonging.
Should there be a sense of belonging or feeling of satisfaction that that face belongs to me?
That's the unfortunate thing about the internet. Everybody trying their very best to be special has the effect of nobody being willing to talk about things so blatantly banal.
So there's no cheat sheet to compare myself to to find out whether there's anything off.
And anyway, isn't it normal for people my age to feel a little lost and to not be at peace with themselves and the world at large?
"Timothy!" My mother's call snaps me out of my thoughts.
God I hate that name, so old and long and ugly.
"Are you coming? We're going out to watch the comet!"
Did I forget to mention?
For a year now it's been all over the news, practically since they first discovered it was headed toward us. Since then it has been reported over on the daily, either the comet immediately, or the way stupid people reacted to it. Mainly by hoarding food and preparing for doomsday, building luxury bunkers or committing suicide en masse. And all that even though they were able to predict pretty quickly that the comet would only orbit earth for a week before heading off on its merry way to probably obliterate an entire planet of aliens a few hundred light years onwards.
The thing is, though, that the comet is large enough to deal a lot of damage and you know how people can be. People are stupid and that doesn't even exclude me. Otherwise, I wouldn't be staring at myself in the mirror, contemplating my identity.
"No, I think I'll go to bed early," I call back, without any intention of actually doing it.
Mum doesn't press the matter further. It isn't the first time and she knows it won't be the last time I'm ditching my family in exchange for some quality time on my own. It's not that I don't like them – I just like it more without them.
Another family member, however, isn't as easy to get rid of.
"Timmy?" a small voice asks from the doorway, knocking against the wood softly. It's my little sister, Pearl, the only one allowed to call me that.
"Yes?" I don't have to put effort into making my voice sound tired. The prospect of the coming discussion is more than enough.
In comes a girl maybe half my size, with blonde, long hair, huge blue eyes, and a round, cute face. Yeah, I have no clue either how we can have the same parents. We don't even have the same hair colour. Her name is Pearl and she's eight years old. I like her, though of course, her being a kid and all, can be tiring at times.
"Why won't you come watch the comet with us?" she asks, hugging me around the waist.
I pat her hair absently as my gaze trails out the window and up to the cloudless sky. "I just don't feel like it."
YOU ARE READING
Moonlit Waters
Romance"I'm just scared somehow that you're not even real." "And what if I wasn't? What if I wasn't, but wanted to be?" When Timothy Crow gets the ability to turn into a girl whenever he goes swimming, his first reaction is to panic, resulting in his near...
