Chapter 17

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The metal of the small button is cold against my index finger. I can feel its sides scrape against the surrounding plate of the doorbell.

From behind the door, I hear the familiar sound.

Ding... dong.

My stomach grows light when my concentration breaks and I think of what's about to come.

I will tell them. And I will have no choice but to see their reaction.

But Alex is here with me. He's standing right next to me, his arm firmly around me, his hand squeezing my shoulder reassuringly.

"It'll be fine," he says, giving me a confident little smile.

I try to smile back, but my mouth barely moves.

It'll be fine.

I don't have a choice. There's no taking it back now. No taking off the mask... Well, no putting it on, more like.

I am Selena.

I see a shadow whizz past the tinted glass embedded in the door and hear Pearl's muffled voice.

"Mum! Dad! There's somebody at the door!" I think there's excitement in her voice.

Does she know?

Usually, she's the one opening the door. But now she's waiting.

Shouldn't she be going to bed soon as well?

It's almost ten in the evening.

Alex and I waited just long enough at the lake for my clothes and hair to dry, all the while I told him my version of the past week. He didn't interrupt me once. I'm sure once he'd understood that Timothy had also been I, not much of it came as a surprise to him.

He didn't try to kiss me, once I had finished. He simply hugged me and I hugged him back, and then I said that we should go and tell my parents.

He knows I need to figure out other things first.

Slowly, the door opens. It can't be Pearl holding the handle, she always throws it open.

Hectically, I straighten my posture, clasp my hands together to keep them from shaking.

"Oh, hello Alex-" Mum halts when she sees me.

Dad is next to her, partially hidden behind the door. I don't see Pearl but I'm also unable to look for her. I can't move my eyes from Mum's face. Her expression is one of mild surprise, a vague smile mechanically moving the corners of her mouth.

"Hi, Mum," I say, trying hard to smile and raise a hand to give a little wave. "I know how this must sound. I-" I halt and start over. My heart is pounding in my chest. It's hard to concentrate. "The comet changed me and for some time I was able to change into this body by touching water and it just made me feel so much better and now I made it permanent and I think I'm a lot happier now, I-"

I pause again. Focus. I have to prove that I used to be Timothy.

"I can prove it. Do you remember, when I was four I was totally in love with my kindergartener? I wanted to become a kindergartener myself so I could be like her and I only ever-"

My pulse is racing, my thoughts going a mile a second. Until they don't. They just stop and my mind goes blank.

Mum has stepped forward and put her arms around me, pressing me against her chest.

Inches away from my ear I hear her sniffle and whisper, "Did you really think I wouldn't recognise my own daughter?"

I didn't know she was crying, but suddenly I am crying too.

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