Burn slow

Chapter 16| Love me like you do

POV Wednesday

- Xavier, - I stared at the wooden surface frowning; my eyes in fire were ready to burn this door. - Your demeanour is childish. Don't be ridiculous, - I longed that Xavier knew my opinion. I believed it was him who inflamed me but then my mind rapidly revealed me an image of myself and I got who was an actual culprit. I frowned even harder that made my mimic wrinkles on my forehead bed and become visible. I almost heard the gears in my chest creaking in an attempt to admit a mistake that made my every inner organ squeeze. A small tremor scattered over my body immediately cooling the fury and body itself. My hand hesitantly reached out the door to knock but froze just in a couple of centimetres. - Xavier, - I called him again with much a calmer tone but I got no response that made the tremor get back again.
My ears detected music playing behind the door.

"Love me like you do...". - I wished to pierce my eardrums with needles not to hear this song.

Did Xavier want to drown me out?

My breath rate got increased and the lips contacted, the cheeks swelled. The image of Xavier got engraved in my eyes and I couldn't banish it. I rested my palm on the door, I leaned my forehead against the door, and announced loudly to make sure Xavier could hear me. - It would be productive for an issue if we could confer...
- Go to sleep, Wednesday, - I could hear Xavier's irked voice and my imagination immediately painted him in my mind sitting at another side leaning back against the door and frowning. I turned around and slid down banding my knees and embracing them with my arms so I could get closer to him in such a solemn manner.

Probably I had to apologise.

The flood of bitterness filled me up but the image of Xavier being furious at me, because of my indulgence to his feelings, like a cold blade of a knife stabbed me from the inside twisting, my lungs stopped functioning preventing me from breathing; I got a cotton mouth. My tongue was too numb to pronounce the sacred words of apology but I could still operate my fingers. I took out my mobile phone and typed a message:
"I would like to express my regrets for ignoring your request to restrict myself from attending your Mother's bedroom".

The music got turned off. I heard Xavier's phone beep twice: my message was received, and after some shuffling just behind the door two grey ticks next to my message got blue. Xavier read my message; every muscle in my body tensed and eyes got heavily chained to the phone because of "Xavier is typing...". I was impatiently waiting for the reply for several minutes while Xavier was finishing a message to me: he had much to say. But then he stopped. I waited for several minutes more before my hope to get a response faded.

I sighed, my tired brain buzzed with possible solutions but none of them seemed appropriate to me. I closed my eyes and breathed out deeply, I gulped in an attempt to swallow the bitterness but it didn't go anywhere. I banged my fist on the floor: I had to know exactly what I was about to do next. And belatedly I jumped out from my place to take a house tour. I had to find a piece of paper and a pen.

When I rummaged through half the house to find what I needed, I got back to the Xavier's door which was still closed. I held a pen in my hand just above the paper for several minutes before I came up with words. When appropriate sentences cropped up, my fingers carefully started printing letter by letter.

"I am sorry. Xavier, will you forgive me?" - I read my note silently one more time moving my lips, and I pushed the piece of paper in the crack under the door.
Xavier immediately picked up the piece of paper and it seemed I could hear my words echoing in his head. My ears caught the rustling sound of folding paper:
- I want you to apologise out loud, - I heavily breathed out having heard him talking to me. But when my mind processed what exactly he wanted me to do, I gulped, - I am all ears.
- Are you really gonna make me ask for apology?
- Absolutely.
- Would you possibly consider... - I gulped again, my glance was jumping here and there, - accepting my apologies... - Xavier stayed silent so I filled up my lungs with oxygen to give it out in a instant. - I am sorry, Xavier. I am sorry and I believe that we have to talk.