UNLOVEABLE ─ s.stilinski

xxxviii. forwards is the only way

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT
forwards is the only way

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

"It's stupid, really, but I thought I would feel guilty for his death, you know." Rhys admitted, shaking his head.

His aunts had signed him up for counselling at the school recently because of well, everything. His parents, the winter formal and Matt...

Morrell nodded, "And is this because you thought Matt was your friend?"

Rhys resisted the urge to scoff, knowing that he thought Matt would eventually be more than a friend.

"Maybe," is what he settled with, "I'm not sure, I guess I thought I could've prevented it - if I did something or said something else."

"So, why don't you feel pity for him?" Morrell pressed on, looking at Rhys intently.

"I feel nothing for him, not anymore," He stated, fiddling with his skull necklace. "He stalked me, he created these fake photos - where he photoshopped himself into it, making us kiss and hold hands. He built this fake relationship around me, and then he used me to fill his fantasies and I fell for it." His voice cracked slightly at the end, his emotions coming to play with his words, tears building up in his eyes.

"He made me feel stupid, and naive," He scoffed. "That wasn't even the worst part, he held me, my friends and one of the only people I have left in this crappy world hostage."

Morrell pursed her lips together, "What about the nine year old Matt that drowned? Can you feel sorry for him?"

"A part of me wants to," Rhys admitted, "I want to show him some sympathy, but I can't. So, what if he was pushed into a pool by some douche bag kids? That doesn't give him the right to go off and kill them. He murdered innocent people. He orphaned a child for his own personal, and quite frankly petty, revenge."

Morrell nodded, keeping her gaze firmly on Rhys, "And what are you're impressions of Matt now he showed his true colours to you?"

"That he was a sociopath that needed a lot of help," Rhys said bitterly. "He basically thought of himself as a god - referring constantly to the Greek myths about the Furries."

"Deities of vengeance and retribution," Morrell nodded, following along.

"Yeah, and he used it as justification to his actions. Like someone from a 'higher power' told him to do it."

"And do you think someone told him to do it, this 'higher power'?" Morrell questioned.

"No," Rhys shook his head, "he was just an egg at an edge of a wall, waiting to fall and finally break." He furrowed his brows at his odd choice of words. "You get what I mean, right?"

"I do," Morrell confirmed. She sighed, "and how do you feel now?"

"Glad to get rid of my stalker, if that's what you mean?" Rhys attempted. Morrell shook her head. Rhys sighed. "I don't know, I guess- I just want everything to go back to normal."

"Before Matt, or to before the winter formal," Morrell pressed on.

Rhys pondered this for a moment, he wanted to go back to when he wasn't constantly feeling under threat. To a time that he wasn't scared to close his eyes, in case a vision appeared or someone he cared about was hurt while he was resting.

But then, before the formal, would mean before Stiles and he were friends. Back to his bleak days of sitting at home and reading, complaining that nothing interesting happened in this town.