Fill Me In

Chapter Twenty Nine

(A/N: SORRY ITS SO SHORT! But you guess really wanted and update so... Here ya go!(: )

My heart dropped instantly. That feeling when you hear something, you really didn't want to hear, my head pounding, eyes stinging... Everything just hurts.

"W-what?" I manage to say.

"I'm so sorry..." He said, putting his head in his hands, "I got lonely, and I wasn't thinking and I-I.... I'm so sorry. I couldn't think."

I stand up, not feeling like I had control of myself, I want I the front of my bed grabbing onto my pillow, squeezing it tightly in my hands.

He rushed towards me, grabbing my arm softly but I jerk away, backing away against the wall.

"You kissed somebody?" I asked shakily, "I-I... You... Did you kiss her once? Was it just... Just a peck? Or did... Did you..."

"I'm so sorry." He said staring me in the eyes, then filling with tears, "it... It was more..."

"Did you have sex with her?" I asked, my heart breaking with each second passing my heart breaking more and more.

"No." He shook his head, "no... I realized the mistake before... That... Happened."

My eyes shut tightly my head shaking, as if I'm dreaming. This can't be happening... No not to me... Not to us... I thought he would never...

My eyes shot open at the feeling of someone wrapping their arms around me, "don't touch me." I say strongly, "don't touch me Austin..."

"Baby please don't say that." Austin nervously said, "baby girl pleas-"

"don't call me that." I reply, "I thought you said you would never hurt me! I thought you loved me Austin! You... You said that you loved me!"

"I do bab- I do Emily!" He said firmly grabbing my shoulders, "I love you so much."

"Then why would you do this to me?" I ask taking his hand off of me and pushing me away, "I never did anything to you! I never- I never cheated on you! I got lonely too Austin! But I didn't cheat on you! I never even thought about!"

"I made a mistake okay?" He shouted back, "it was a mistake!"

"Was it a mistake or was I a mistake?"

He rolled his eyes turning away from me, "how would you be the mistake?"

"Because you didn't break up with me before! You could have anybody and do whatever you want but I'm holding you back!" I yell back.

"Oh my god!" He angrily, "are you that stupid?!"

There it is again, heart stopped, empty feeling.

Silence filled the room and Austin turned around, and his beautiful eyes were filled with worry.

"I didn't mean it baby girl." He quickly said, rushing towards me, "I'm just... I'm so sorry and I just want you to forgive me I'm sorry. So so so sorry baby."

"Get away from me." I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks, "I don't want to see you."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He asked then he became angrier, "are you fuckìng breaking up with me?!"

"I-I... I don't know. I just need space." I say covering my face, not wanting him to see me cry more.

"Space?!" He shouted, "I finally came back after months! And now you want space?!??"

"Stop yelling at me!" I yell, closing my eyes tight, "I didn't do anything wrong! YOU are the cheater not me!"

He's angry eyes softened once again and they went to the floor. I sighed walking to my bathroom and changing out of my swimsuit and cover up to pajamas.

I walk out minutes later, walking past Austin and sliding into my bed. Curling up in a small ball and letting the blankets warm me.

I felt the bed dip down next to me me and I didn't even have enough energy to even turn and look at him.

Austin wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me clear to him. I sighed, acting as if it want even happening.

"I know your pissed at me and I understand. I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear, "I just hate seeing you upset and I'm so sorry and I'll never stop showing you how much I love you."

***
I woke I up and turned to my side, hoping to see Austin laying there but he wasn't. I got up knocking on the bathroom door but their was no response.

That's when I saw it... A note

Dear my Love,

I'm sorry. I'm so unbelievably sorry and I understand and I'm starting to respect that fact that you will never forgive me. It's okay I wouldn't forgive me either. You'll find someone better. I know you will. Your amazing and sweet and funny and beautiful... Your everything a person should be. That's why I'm letting you go. I never deserved you anyway. I was never good for you. I know your mad at me and I know this may still hurt but it's good for you. You can get meet someone that's going to be there for you. Who would never hurt you like I did. I'll always love and remember you.

I'm sorry Emily,

Austin.